"You're such a dreamer, Kaylee."
"You've got your head in the clouds."
"That's not a very realistic goal."
"I mean, that's really cool, I guess... But it's kind of unattainable, don't you think?"
There is only one thing that I dislike more than baked cheese, (because EW) and it is when people tell me that I "can't" do something.
If you've read any of my other articles, or if you've ever met me, you, more than likely, have caught on to the fact that I am a bit of an... eccentric individual, to say the least. I feel things very deeply, I am unable to like anything casually, and the passion that I have for my life and the people in it can be overwhelming at times. So, it is only natural that I am incredibly driven and have big plans for my future.
You see, I, like Augustus Waters— may he rest in peace— fear oblivion. I intend to live an extraordinary life, and live an extraordinary life, I shall. I am going to get a great education at CCC, pursue my dream career, travel the world, eat good food, go to all of the concerts, and then, maybe, just maybe, I will retire and live peacefully on an ocean somewhere until I kick the bucket.
(Notice that I didn't mention getting married or having kids. That was on purpose.)
I want all of you lovely readers out there to just picture something for a moment, all right? Okay. Imagine a quiet, reserved, complacent Kay, sitting alone in her room, eating Funyuns, going to school to get a job that she has little to no passion for, and preparing to live an aggressively average life.
Sounds a bit off, huh? Well, minus the Funyuns part, of course. But, believe it or not, a year ago, that was my life.
For so long, I listened--strictly-- to my friends and family and what made them happy. I took their aspirations and their goals, and I thought that what they wanted should be what I wanted, too. As cliché as it sounds, I tried to make their dreams my dreams as well.
I stayed in an unhealthy relationship for so long because I thought that it was the right thing to do. I went to a college that I didn't really want to go to go because I thought that it was the right thing to do. I was going to become a teacher because I thought that it was the right thing to do. I was being timid, complacent, and letting everyone influence my decisions— everyone except for myself— because I simply thought that it was the right thing to do.
I was wrong.
Now, a year later, I am finally learning to live for myself. I moved to North Carolina on a whim just because I felt like it, I transferred to Columbia College Chicago, and I am pursuing a career in music and communications that I am beyond passionate about. I am going on road trips with my best friends, and seeing my favorite musicians live, (multiple times each. RIP my bank account...) and I am eating things that I want to eat even if it's not all that good for me. I am saying what's on my mind, and I am standing up for things that I believe in, even if not everyone agrees with me.
I am certain about the things that I want to do and the things that I want to achieve. I am absolutely through living my life for anyone other than myself. I am finally realizing that my happiness is important.
So, yes, maybe my dreams are a little out there. Maybe moving one thousand miles away from home to go to college is risky. Maybe double-majoring with a minor is a lot to take on. Maybe wanting a high-end career in the music industry is "pushing it." Maybe having so many goals and expectations strikes people as unrealistic, but guess what?
I am going to f*cking do it.
And it isn't going to be easy. In fact, I know that all of my goals are going to be incredibly difficult to reach. I am going to have days where I feel defeated and lost and confused— hell, I've already had plenty of those. I know that there will never be a "right moment" to do the things that I want to do, but that's the beauty of it, isn't it? That means that every moment is the right moment. So, no, I don't have my life planned out step by step. I just have good feelings about things, and I am going from there. I may not know exactly where I am going, but I know where I've been. And there is no better motivation than that.
So, to all of the people out there who have and continue to doubt me and attempt make me feel small about who I am and what I want out of life, the joke is on you. I am happy, and I am only going to get happier. And to those of you who support me, you are my strength, and everything that I ever achieve will be because of you. Life is swell.
In the words of our dear friend, Augustus, "I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend."
Thanks for reading, my sweet raspberry scones. Until next time. Stay rad, stay bad.





















