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Colorless World

Seeing Monochromatic in the Colorful World.

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Colorless World
Fatjona Lubonja, March 2015.

He would give everything to see the color of her eyes. The loss of color in his mind had never been so stubborn. His life was altered in its absence. At a young age he had never questioned the colors of the world. The world was grey to him, and it has been like this as long as he remembered. Was passed fanatically in his family through generations hidden among good things. Color blind men were accepted in his family. “The women are the colors in this house” – his grandfather used to say. Colorless was his way of life, at least the world he always knew. Until he met her. She was the girl with the most beautiful eyes, and he imagined all the colors, even the ones that might have not existed.

He never cared before about colors. It has always been a perception of others. He felt people spend too much time naming all that nonsense. His color world was plain and equal. During his school years he struggled enough. All his presentations were black and white. Although his peers were enthusiastic about how colorful their presentations were, but to him they all looked the same. Those were all grey and maybe some red. He remembers to have made this painting project in art class, over and over, with so much passion, and the end result was layers of black. Through school he learned how to think about colors. All the colors in his head, were his invention, and definitely belonged to him. His colorless world completed him. Such notion was denied to him but his mind was full of imagination. “I don’t need those 'rods' and 'cons' in my retina when I have my brain making the work for them” he often joked with “his colors”.

His monochromatic peace suddenly was disturbed. Yellow was white, dark tones were black. The only color that stayed true to him was red. He longed to see what she could see. Did she see colors in him? Ironically he only wore black. That’s all he felt comfortable buying. Who knows what color dress she was wearing. His world was falling apart. That’s how he felt. His mind began working so fast. He needed to think colors fast. With the speed of light colors began occupying in his head.

“Think, think”, he kept saying over and over while getting closer to the girl. He felt so released when noticed her black dress.

Beautiful black dress, he complimented almost stuttering, surprised not really knowing what to say.

She looked at herself and smiled. “It is blue”, she said nicely.

Well, blue is the new black, he added satisfied. He didn’t care about colors after that, accept for one color he wished he could see. The color of her eyes.

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