Well, we're getting to that time of the year again- college admissions! An exciting and understandably nerve wracking time of the year for the upcoming graduating class, filled with both joyous celebration and heartbreaking disappointment. We've made it through most of high school- both the best and worst four years of our lives. We began our journey's as pre-pubescent, timid, COMPLETELY naive freshmen, and we'll end as mature, responsible, enlightened young adults. Or so we hope.
Passionate and hungry, just the thought of leaving home in a year to embark on a journey of self-discovery and life-changing experiences gets our hearts fluttering in excitement. We will be free to further existing passions, as well as discover new and unexpected ones. We may find our first loves- heck, even our future spouses! But that's thinking a little too far ahead... :) Mostly, though, we look forward to the liberation of finally leaving the nest, as well as the challenge of responsibility.
Filled with both joyous celebration and bitter disappointment, the college admissions process marks the next milestone of our lives: the end of childhood and beginning of adulthood and social responsibility. It is, at its core, a beautiful celebration of human growth and capacity for achievement.
Sadly, though, I have noticed and experienced firsthand the darker reality of this time. The tension, envy and competitiveness will put friendships to the test and bring out people's true colors.
Yes, we are all human. It is completely natural for you to feel envy towards your classmate who got into your dream school, while you were left with a pitiful rejection letter. I felt that way when I got rejected from Stanford while three other classmates- all of whom are in my AP Gov/Econ class- got accepted. Underneath the initially painful sting of rejection, I was happy and proud of my friends, because I knew they deserved every ounce of that achievement.
I was hurt when the inherent competitiveness of this time caused a close friend to undermine the value of our nearly seven year friendship. Long story short, my friend was visibly jealous of me for having received a scholarship she greatly coveted. The thing is, she ended up receiving the same scholarship, so why she was so unhappy at my accomplishment is beyond me.
Despite the hurt and anger I initially felt when my friend showed her true colors, I have decided to look past it because I understood that while we are close friends, the college admissions process is ultimately a competition.
As a former gymnast, I know better than most that there is no mercy when competing. Off the carpet, my fellow competitors and I are great pals, going out to dinner after meets. On the carpet, however, it was war. No jokes, no laughs- just focus and determination towards achieving the goal. The same can be said about the college admissions process. Emotions run high in the competitive zone. While I wish my friend could be happy for me, I know that, no matter how selfless a person you are, it is (in most , at least) human nature to put yourself before others, which is why I am willing to look past today's unfortunate incident.
I want incoming high school seniors to know that unfortunate things like this happen as college decisions/scholarships start to roll out. The whole game of "who got into which school" is really petty, however, and causes a lot of unnecessary drama. At the end of the day, what matters is which school you end up attending, not the ones you got accepted into. My advice is simply to rise above the gossip and drama. If someone asks you what schools you got into, you can either tell them or keep your acceptances to yourself, but don't feel forced to say anything you don't feel comfortable saying!
Another thing- don't be that person who badgers everyone about where they got into, or boasts about the schools he/she gets accepted to. Seriously. It's important to be sensitive to those around you, especially during this time. You may have gotten into a school of your choosing, but the person sitting next to you in math class may still be reeling over a rejection by the same school. Of course you have every right to be excited and proud of getting into colleges! Just be sure to contain the euphoria when around your classmates so you don't inadvertently strike a tender chord.
