As of right now I walked the stage with the 2016 class at Fontbonne University. I do not physically have my degree in my possession yet because I have to make up a class I did not do so well in. So because of that I will not have my diploma until December of 2016. Getting through college for me was an interesting process, personally. There are things I wish I would've done and acted on and maybe my outcome at the end of it all would've been different.

I WISH I WOULD'VE WENT WITH MY FIRST MIND

Although I met some people at Fontbonne that I currently adore, Fontbonne was not my first choice. I was supposed to go to Missouri State University in Springfield, MO. I watched the virtual campus tours online, I emailed back and forth with the admissions counselor, I had a dorm assignment and even a roommate. Everything was in place. But at the last minute, I decided to attend St. Louis Community College at Florissant Valley and then transition to a local university after.

The time came for me to go to a university, and although my heart was telling me Missouri State, that is still not where I ended up. I am not going to discredit Fontbonne University for being a great place for students. But for me, personally, while attending I just always felt apart of me was empty.

I WISH I WOULD'VE KNOWN IT WAS OKAY TO MAKE A DECISION FOR ME. Although I was the one to make the final decision, I believe outside opinions had a lot to do with it. Yes, I did save a ton of money because I did not have to pay for my first two years of college. But for me, personally, that decision always ate away at me on the inside. I feel so cheated out of obtaining the whole traditional college experience. I never got to live away from home and learn to be independent. I never got to live on campus, in a dorm, with a roommate whom I might have formed a close bond with. I never got to come back home for holiday breaks and summer breaks. I never got to decorate my dorm to fit my personality.

Saying the word "never" makes everything feel so negative. But for me it is the only word that accurately captures what I feel. I cannot get that time back. Sometimes I wish I could do it all over again just to get the college experience that I wanted for myself. I will obtain my bachelor's degree as a Fontbonne Griffin, but in the back of my mind and heart I will always be and want to be a Missouri State Bear. There is always graduate school right ?

xoxo