In lieu of all my family asking me what I've been doing with my life, I prepared a small speech about trying to adult. But at the same time, I'm not even gonna get on a soapbox and preach about how college is hard. I gotta break it down like this.
Right now, I'm at a point in my life where I:
A) Know what I want
B) Don't have a clue about what I want
C) Both a & b.
And I feel like some days I'm A, some days I'm B, and a very vast amount of the time I'm a solid C. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off is not how I envisioned my life. But, for some reason, the productivity and amazing results that come from all the sleepless nights lit by laptop light are all worth it. Becoming a leader on campus had made me feel as though I'm a part of something bigger than just myself. Its been made me, dare I say it -- more open and inviting to new people, challenges, and experiences. Sure, I'm almost always way too busy to do the things I want to do, but it's a good kind of busy. I feel this buzz inside me, like I'm actually making a difference in the world.
And, yes, there are tons of people who have told me not to do it. People who think that I'm running myself ragged or that I can't ever hang out with them. But, you know what? I'd rather work than be surrounded by people stuck in one place. I do sacrifice home a lot, instead of going home for the entire summer. I'd get maybe a month if I'm lucky. But that's just what life has to be like, I guess. I miss my family/friends and, of course, my dog, but I know that I'm doing what's best for myself. I'm becoming stronger and more independent, and that's something I wouldn't trade for the world.
So, yes, I don't sleep enough, and I'm a little bit -- no, a lotta bit -- frazzled, but, hey, I get to say I have one of the greatest support systems in the universe. So, Aunt Kim, that's what I'm doing with my life.