It has been almost two years since I first landed in the city which I now consider my second home. It is only fitting that I look back at my experience here at (THE) Ohio State.
In the fall of 2016, I was an 18-year-old international student from India, with my only experience of America coming from my favorite TV shows. I was still in the habit of writing color as "colour" and favorite as "favourite" (still stand by those spellings, though).
I was excited to have new surroundings around me and tons of new people to meet, but those very thoughts were the ones that gave me anxiety just thinking about them. I was never good at social interactions. But two years since, it is safe to say that I have come a decent length of the way (I won't say long because that would not be true.) Besides evolving as a person, I also picked up on a lot of new things in my freshman and sophomore years, and I hope that it turns out to be relatable to a lot of people.
I was always very awkward at social interactions. Just the thought of meeting someone new or presenting something in front of people would start the dominoes falling. My heart would start beating faster, my palms would start getting sweaty (knees became weak and arms became heavy), my mind would start spouting random thoughts at a 1000 miles per second, and I would just start dreading the future. I used to get an adrenaline rush by just answering a question in class or even asking a question in class (I still do. It's scary, okay?). There are many such examples, but there is no need to get so deep into the details; you get the gist.
Looking back at all of this, I feel very accomplished in saying that I am not the same awkward guy I was 2 years back. Don't get me wrong, I am still very awkward, just not to that extent. I have started opening up to people and making more and more friends. I've even started answering more in class. College has really done wonders for me.
Being a college student, and especially one at a big university like OSU, you can't not come out of your shell. Opportunities to make new friends and speak are always around you. Some of my favorite moments include swaying to Carmen Ohio with strangers standing next to me after each football game, or singing Piano Man at 2 am at Acacia, or even just walking down High Street on a Friday night, dishing out as well as collecting high fives from every passing person.
Being an international student also plays a major role in my "glow-up." Being so far away from home, with very few people speaking your language, and being thrust in the middle of unfamiliar surroundings does tend to evolve one and show one's true grit. I wouldn't be the same person that I am right now had I stayed back in India, where things were more familiar. Here I knew no one when I first came, so I was forced to go out and meet new people, and boy am I glad that I did that.
With a big college like OSU having so many people, there are bound to be people of every type. Like I have told others as well, if you feel that you don't fit in right now, do not worry. You are bound to find your niche soon. Everyone does. Everyone eventually settles into their own group, but that does not mean that you stop meeting new people. Chances are provided at every corner, especially the beginning of every semester when you see new faces in your classes (yes, this place is huge. You see new faces everywhere you look).
Looking back at these two years, I am glad that I convinced myself to come out of my shell of social anxiety and grasp the opportunities presented to me. I found people who thought like me, were kind to each other, and knew how to have a good time, while also being there for each other when the situation presented itself.
(I am looking at you, Hammock Club, and you, Rez B**ches, and you, all my friends)
Four years is a long time to live through if you stick to what you thought was comfortable. Everyone needs to step outside of their comfort zones to confront their fears. My fear was of talking to new people, and while that still remains, I believe I am on a steady rise towards getting over it.
Two years went by in a jiffy, but looking back, I am glad to see that the Abhigyaan Bararia of 2018 is miles apart from the Abhigyaan Bararia of 2016.
