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Student Life

A College Student's Wish List To Santa

I promise I still think you're real.

Ali Nicole

Nov 28, 2016

Millennials of San Antonio

178

The Early Years

As college students, most of us don't want lavish gifts. We want things we don't really have a lot of power over, is extremely difficult to achieve, don't exist, or we don't have the motivation to do it ourselves. I would like to think that I am on the nice list. Sure I missed my Friday 8:30 a.m. class because I was out Thursday night, but will that really be the deciding factor as to what list I am on? I think not.

Dear Santa,

1) Time

Like, how am I supposed to re-watch Grey's Anatomy with 4 finals, a research paper, and a group presentation coming up soon?

2) Food, endless amounts of food

Food is essential. How else am I supposed to handle stress and sadness?

3) Money

You know, for school supplies, beer, my Netflix subscription, books, and wine.

4) A's in all my classes

Of course I studied, but did I put in the required 35+ hours of studying a week? No I didn't, but I know I deserve the 4.0 GPA. Please and thank you

5) Wifi

First of all tuition isn't cheap, BUT IS GOOD WIFI TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!

6) Parking

Again, tuition isn't cheap. Santa, you would think the university would provide enough parking for the thousands of students that are enrolled...but nope. I have to be a savage in the parking lot, and it isn't a good look for me.

7)Sleep

Oh, probably the most precious of all. Although, even if you did gift me with 5 weeks of sleep, I would probably still wake up exhausted and want even more sleep.

8) Photographic memory

Like the beautiful one Lexy Grey (RIP) had. (I will not cry. I will not cry.) Imagine how much easier college, and life would be with a photographic memory? Geez, I'm crying tears of joy just thinking about it. Gift it to me. Please.

9) Can you somehow get rid of my debt?

I am just trying to better myself, and not be an even bigger hot mess than I am now. So, why won't you be a good guy and take it from me?

10) A Keurig machine that dispenses mimosas and sangria.

I would love for my mornings to have a little bit of a kick sometimes.

11) Last but not least, can you guarantee I will get a job once I graduate?

Post graduation, I will have 3-5 years of extremely hard work under my belt and I STILL have no peace of mind that I will get a job? RIDICULOUS SANTA. But, while you're at it make it a job with at least 3 weeks of vacation time.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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A College Student's Wish List To Santa

I promise I still think you're real.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

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