Titus Andromedon from "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" may not be a broke college student, but he is so relatable to them. As a struggling Broadway actor, he knows what it's like to be broke and living in a tiny apartment. Here are 12 ways Titus represented a college student:
You wake up feeling icky one morning and think “Oh it must be allergies, I bet I’m fine.”
You go through your day as normal, but you feel gross and more tired than usual.
You finally get back from class and work and think “Oh, I’m just going to lie down in bed for a little bit.”
You wake up and realize you slept six hours, it is now 11 pm and you have done none of your homework.
You stay up until 3 am doing the homework and finally get to go to sleep, you think “Oh I’ll be better in the morning” (clearly you’re in denial).
You wake up that morning, you have slept through your alarm and don’t even want to get up.
You start thinking, “maybe this isn’t allergies.”
You throw on clothes really quick, go to your classes (even though you’re late) and go to work anyway (still in denial).
You get back from class and work again and your nose is stuffed, you’re coughing and you feel dizzy.
You call your mom because she always knows what to do.
She tells you to take your temperature, you do and you find out you have a fever.
You decide to take some medicine and sleep it off, because of course, you have to be better for class, work and any activity you have for the next day.
The next morning, you’re behind on classwork, you still have a fever, but you can’t miss your classes and you have a very busy day, so you go anyway.
The cycle continues, until it's either the weekend or you decide work and class can wait and you need a day to rest.
Eventually, after being sick through class and work for about a week or so you’re finally better, and you pray that you don’t get sick again, only to do it all over the next month.
Asking to go to your friends house a second time is futile. In fact, it may make things worse.
You don’t get to go out Friday and Saturday, silly child. Choose one.
This significantly improves your chances of getting a yes. Pro tip: Doing extra chores helps.
Who are you going with? What time? Where are you going? Who else is going? Who are their parents? Where do they work? How long have they been there?
Prepare yourself for a lecture when you get home.
If you ever want to be able to go out again, you better go home on time.
Calls start coming the minute you’re late.
R.I.P. if you see two or more missed calls.
Because the one room they will not go in determines the cleanliness of the rest of the house.
Anything remotely inappropriate results in a 10 second joke turning into a 30 minute lecture.
Disclaimer: When you turn 18, it becomes, “My roof, my rules.”
Don't be that kid that gets caught by their parents driving somewhere they weren't supposed to be.
I don’t care if you were told to hunt down the last unicorn in the world using a pot of gold stolen from the leprechaun at the end of a rainbow. Just do it.
Say your prayers.
The second you hear your name being called, drop everything you’re doing and run.
They just aren’t. Why sleep somewhere else when you have a bed at home?
They might not always show it, but they do.
Getting a pet is great -- cats, dogs, fish, or any sort of thing you can keep makes you care for something beyond yourself and gives you company. (Some are huggable, too!) As a pet owner, you can definitely tell when they’ve gotten into trouble … and sometimes you get a little weird with them. Non-pet owners just wouldn’t understand.
Without parents to wake you up, how do you even? Or, you know, if you fall asleep at your desk studying because you're working hard. Rough life, man. And mornings were hard enough as it was.
We all make mistakes, Ross. It's fine. Whether you mixed your colored laundry with your whites, or you were cleaning and you bleached something that was not meant to be bleached, there's gonna be nobody at fault but you. And even if you're by yourself (or your cat is judging you), you have to own up to it, and move on.
Nobody can do sarcasm like Phoebe. Cooking is very exciting in the beginning and all, but once you're at that stage in your life when you're too lazy to even make ramen, and all you have in your fridge is an empty milk carton and some leftovers from last week, well, it's a lot less fun.
You've finally got a place where your friends can hang and people can come over! But see above. Cooking, cleaning, all that stuff you need to do to prepare for guests is harder than it seems, and if you keep telling yourself that pizza isn't a cop-out, then everything will work out.
Just like Chandler, you might not be entirely aware of what health and sanitation is. It's fine, we've all been there. And it's a lot harder than it seems. You're not alone.
Since you can go all out, you will, and there's nothing your roommates can do about it. Friendsgiving? Heck yeah! St. Patty's Day? Of course! And best of all, Halloween, where your space becomes the spookiest around (on a budget, of course, nobody's made of money).
So maybe you don't live exactly alone. It's good to have a roommate, right? Especially if they're a good roommate, so you don't have to be picking up after them or complaining to your cat. And when you want to have a do-nothing day, they'll be there for you (and you'll be there for them too.)
Don't even pretend. That's hilarious. If you can study, good for you, but the rest of us will be over here not doing what we should and hanging out with our friends instead. And cramming and panicking later.
If you've ever cleaned a place after a party, you are a survivor, a true warrior. Even cleaning bathrooms or the nooks and crannies of your place before a parent visits will yield some interesting results, however. You never know what you'll find, but it's usually not pleasant.
There's only two modes here: #foreveralone or everything's coming up roses. Without supervision or even any sort of restriction, you can do what you want to when you want to. That means going out ... or staying in. You can do whatever.
