You think $10 is a lot of money. You just want to go home and eat real dinner. You still have to sit in the back seat of the car (Uber). You cry when your parents drop you off. Sharing is difficult. You don’t know when it’s appropriate to use your inside voice. You are easily bribed with snacks. Boys won't admit when they like girls but will poke them (on Facebook).
Your diet is similar to that of an independent toddler.
Unless you are a rare breed who actually owns a spatula or operates a blender, you probably eat like a five-year-old. Chicken nuggets. French fries. Noodles. Crackers. Cheese. Cereal. Peanut butter straight out of the jar. Your table manners range from “being on your best behavior” to acting like Dave the Barbarian who wears his lunch.
If your daily routine gets out of whack and you don’t get a snack, you get hangry… which is basically an advanced temper tantrum. You don’t eat enough green vegetables and brussels sprouts still scare you. Chicken noodle soup solves every sickness. Adults are always telling you to eat healthy, but all you want is to eat a Twinkie and to have everyone be okay with it. Now that your parents aren’t around, you are excited, because you are going to eat an entire pizza by yourself. You are excited for about 30 minutes, and then you realize you ate an entire pizza by yourself. And now you are crying.
You cry a lot.
Anything can trigger the waterworks. You cry when you’re sad. You cry when you’re happy. You cry when you’re confused. You cry when you’re stressed. You cry frequently, because you probably experience all four of these emotions in one day. Or in one hour. Some days, you feel like one more mental breakdown will make you pack your bags and run away. But before you reach for the knapsack, you get a free Insomnia cookie or a cute coffee shop dweller says hi to you and suddenly you’re over it and back to loving life.
You are carefree.
Aside from your youth, this may be the only time in your life when you don’t have responsibilities outside of your own bubble. So, you go on spontaneous road trips. You walk to Taco Bell at 1 a.m. while wearing high heels. You order a hammock for your bedroom. You join the Ultimate Frisbee team. You drink three cups of coffee and stay awake until dawn studying the night before an exam. You lay out in your front yard when it's warm. You buy "Avatar: The Last Airbender" on Amazon Prime. You watch cartoons.
You nap hard, you nap often.
Just like in preschool, you can sustain enough energy for two classes, and then you require a nap. And like a typical five-year-old, you go to bed as a grumpy grisly and wake up as a cuddly cub. Your mood directly correlates with how much sleep you get.
Your style fluctuates by the day.
One day you’re rocking joggers, a tee, and a beanie, and the next you are sporting business causal khakis and a sweater. You’re like a little kid playing dress up. Some days you get it right. And some days, you look like a big toddler that doesn't know how to use an iron. College girls are still happiest when they get to dress up like a princess. College guys wish they could wear a jersey every day like when they were young. And some weeks, they do.
Mom will always wish she could still pick out your clothes for you.
You drink beverages out of boxes.
You aged. And so did your box of grape juice. It aged and aged until it turned into boxed wine.
You go to themed parties with preschool-friendly names.
Pajama parties. Highlighter parties. Beach parties. ABC parties. Jersey parties. But to your dismay, there are no superhero napkins or Disney princess party favors or cupcakes.
You have craft time.
If you are a sorority girl, you craft. If you are a fraternity guy, you either attempt to craft or ask a girl to craft for you. Pinterest has allowed us all to rekindle our love of crafting. And just like in preschool, the expectation vs. reality of the end result makes us sad. But never sad enough to stop.
You play make-believe.
Some days, you actually have no idea what you are doing. But you still go through the motions, hoping that eventually, you will know what to do. Sometimes you play the leader, sometimes you play the damsel in distress, sometimes you play the guy pretending he knows how to do laundry but accidentally just put dish soap where the detergent is supposed to go. During these years, you are figuring out who you are, and more importantly, who you want to be. But take some advice from those preschool posters and remember, although you may not have it together just yet, “practice makes perfect.”
You need mom and dad for everything.
Sure, we try to be “grown up,” and sure, we act like we can do everything ourselves. But the truth is, we need them now more than ever. Although many things have changed since you were little—your height, your metabolism, your knowledge of long-division, your vocabulary, your taste in music—one thing will always stay the same. Your parents were the center of your universe then, and they are the center of your universe now.
No matter how many people break your heart, no matter how many mistakes you make, no matter how many tests you fail, your parents will always be there for you. Even though band-aids won’t cure everything anymore, mom and dad will always help you get back up after you fall. When you are stuck and feeling lost, they will help you remember to look both ways, and then cross the street. Superman has a cool suit and Wonder Woman is pretty, but Mom and Dad will always be your favorite superheroes. And to them, you will always be that little one with small hands and big eyes who wishes for the world.
It's okay to still feel like an older, little kid. There will be days when you feel like you only have imaginary friends. There will be days when you have no real food in your playhouse pantry and you angrily question why every restaurant in a college town isn’t required to stay open past midnight because you eat consistently until bedtime. There will be days when you feel like you are being swarmed by bees and you wish they were actually 'B's, but in reality, they are 'C's, and you keep telling yourself you’ll still get degrees, but you’re stressed and afraid. There are days when you feel like your confidence is shrinking because of a playground bully, but remember that bullies won't grow up to be happy. And you will. When you feel like stress is getting you in trouble, just put yourself in time-out and then get back in the game.
And if that doesn't work... put on your favorite, themed pajamas, eat a cookie, and call mom and dad.
