Panic. Worry. Nervousness.
While some of you may occasionally experience these feelings, people like me suffer through them every day. Your pain is temporary. Mine can last for days. The smallest thing can cause the biggest panic attack. Sometimes I blame my guilty conscious on being Catholic (we're famous for our "Catholic guilt"), but the truth is that I suffer from an anxiety disorder. Everyday college student activities like in-class presentations, tests, parties, even making friends makes me nervous. Finals week? Forget it, I'll be hiding under the covers with my teddy bear until summer. Day to day I suffer from stress and nervousness that leads to restless and sleepless nights. I am not writing this to make you feel bad for me. I'm writing this so you may understand how to treat people like me, with the respect we deserve.
Please don't tell me to calm down. Ask how you can help instead. Please do not tell me everything will be okay because I'll only worry that it won't be. Please do not tell me I'm overthinking, I can't help it. If I come to you for advice, please let me talk through my stress before interrupting me. Venting helps.My personal favorite is "take a chill pill". Do not make fun of me for taking medication, or for seeking help. Please don't text me "we need to talk" or anything of the sorts, because I'll spend hours recalling everything I've said in the past 6 months and FREAK.
To those of you who suffer and have yet to be helped, I highly encourage you to talk to someone. I waited a while, because I used to be ashamed of myself. But seeking help and getting treatment might have been one of the best decisions I ever made. It is so nice being able to chat with someone who not only truly understands, but who can help. There is something calming about talking to someone who gets it. The first time I met with someone, I was relieved beyond belief because I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Truth is, a lot of people do. You are not alone. But you don't always have to feel this way. There is help out there. Whether just talking to someone weekly is enough, or anxiety medicine is needed, I promise there is help for you. There is no shame in seeking help and getting the treatment you need. Everyone is different. Some people just need a little extra love and care, and there is nothing wrong with that.
