It is an odd thing, the life of a college student. We wake up, cram vast amounts of information into our brains daily, work part-time and sometimes even full-time jobs and then try our best to limp through the sea of homework and projects that never seem to end. On top of it all, we attempt to act like we aren’t tired when the weekend finally arrives.
Today, before I had even become fully awake, my mind was already making a list of all the things I had to get done before twelve o’clock. Once that list finished, I began to calculate exactly how much time I would have to study for my exams, finish my online projects and if I would be able to swing by Target before going to work. Once awake, I tried to figure how long I could stay awake after I closed at work to catch up on my portion of a research assignment I haven’t even started on. I could feel a headache coming on; it was only 6:35 a.m. and I was already exhausted by the day before it had even properly started. It’s a process I thought I would never give into, but sometimes it is infinitely easier to surrender to routine than take the day one bite at a time. Just the thought of not having my agenda written out before hand sends me into panic. What if I forget to turn in this assignment? What will happen if I have to work late and cannot study for that test tonight and have to do it tomorrow? Then I will have to push everything I have to do tomorrow back a little, but then I also have to….
See what I mean? It is absolutely exhausting, but I guiltily find myself everyday obsessing over what needs to be done and less on what I am actually doing. On one hand, it relieves some stress to write down the things I need to get done; it gives me the sense that I have a better hold on things than I would have believed before. However, it isn’t just the classes, the homework or the projects that can make a college student feel like they’re drowning. It’s the expectation. The waiting. We are ceaselessly being tossed to and fro, always being questioned about our plans, our next few steps even. We can never be just one thing; we must be student, sorority sister, fraternity brother, SGA member, churchgoer, athlete, honors student and the list goes on. Yet, the world demands from us even more. It demands our time, effort, money and attention. It is a constant struggle between who were are trying to become, the person we are expected to become, and the person the world is trying to make us into.
It is a beautiful and chaotic combination, but if gotten out of hand, one can quickly find themselves riding in the passenger seat of their own life. Soon, we become pieces of the things we do instead of making the things we do pieces of us. Day-to-day routines become almost like daily rituals; we feel we must perform through a specific set of instructions to be “complete” or to fulfill some personal requirement we never meant to establish. So here is the truth: there is no peace to be found when engaging in excessive planning, or in attempting to control what will unfold in the future. Just when you think you have prepared for all the possibilities that might be thrown your way, something unexpected inevitably appears and throws your life into confusion.
And there is an even greater truth to be known: we aren’t meant to know all the ins and outs of life. If we did, where would the adventure be? Where would we find our passions, our dreams? Life isn’t a path of planning; it is a road of doing. It isn’t the end of the world to make plans or have hopes for the future. I have always loved making plans, always having something to look forward to, but I am not going to live my life in waiting for those times. That isn’t living, but rather a passive existence. Everyday, college students literally face off against the rest of the world, fighting to be and do the things that we actually care about instead of the things that are heaped upon us. If I am going to be busy, I want to be so busy loving and living my life that I don’t have time for regret or weariness. I want to find that one thing, that thing that I just know in my soul that I was meant to do, and I want to spend the rest of my life doing it the best I can.
The solution to the battle is relatively simple. It is as easy as opening yourself up to different outcomes and taking the as it is instead of how you plan it to be. Chase after your passions. Be a nice person. Hold the door open for people. Smile at everyone you make eye contact with. Talk to the person you sit next to in class, even if it is awkward at first, I promise you won’t regret it. College is hard, and it can be very easy to feel lonely and get lost in all tasks each day holds. So just be nice to people. You never know whose day you’ll make.
