You are sitting in your room at night thinking.

Between the questions you don't know the answer to, there are a few things you do know.

You know that the next time you see your parents, they will ask where their (unborn) grandchildren are.

You know that your mom will look you dead in the eye, and the first thing she’ll ask is if you can help with the newest tech problem on her phone or computer.

You know that a part of them longs for your future, while a part of them longs for your past.

They cherish the moments where they could dress you and surprise you with Santa at Christmas time.

But they want you to experience it someday too--with your own kids.

They want what’s best for you in your future, only some parents have more of a specific idea of what that should be.

What do you want your future to be like?

What are you most excited for?

I can tell you what I am excited for.

I’m excited to finally have a dog, to raise it from a puppy, to an adult. And to have the joy of coming home with it running to me. And to teach him and play with him and take him on walks. Because I never got to have a dog as a kid other than the one we had for a few months when I was four that my parents gave away because he was “too rough with me.” I still miss him.

I’m excited to have kids I can bring to Christmas parades. All of us in our sweaters and oversized parkas. I’m excited for the joy in their faces when the lights light up the big tree in the town square. I’m excited for the hot chocolate, and to learn what their favorite foods are. I’m excited to have a daughter to care for with all my heart, and a son to mentor and give unnecessarily long life lessons to in the park.

I’m excited to see what hobbies I’ve picked up. If I still love music more than the sun. If I can still do a backflip on the ground. If I’ve finally learned the violin and drums. If I’ve produced any quality songs. How many total songs have I written? (I imagine it’ll be alot)

I’m excited to know if I’ve found someone to jam with regularly outside of college.

I’m excited to see how I’ve changed. Does my favorite season still alternate between summer and fall? Have I outlasted the damaging effects of years of endless clouds and rain. Do I still love the rain half the time?

Is blue still my favorite color? Is vermillion still my favorite sounding color?

Do I still love bow ties and sweater vests and soft jumpers and pea coats? Am I still infuriated that it’s often too hot to dress nicely in the Summer? Do I still love Seattle? Do I still help people as often as I can?

Do I still know most of the people I know now? Do I still check up on people I haven’t talked to in months? Or have I gotten too busy? Again. Do I still value relationships and family and people more than anything else? Do I still still listen to Love before Fear?

I’m excited for the mystery, for what’ll I’ll be doing for a living.

I’m excited for what my life will look like in the future.

But nothing has to be specific.

I don’t have the details planned out. I’m just excited. I don’t care what dog I get. I don’t care if my wife gets the monopoly on naming all the kids. I don’t care if I have to live in a town I’ve never heard of in a place I’ve never seen.

I do care that my family’s still alive though. I want my parents to be there. But I know that can’t always be true.

If you are like me, you often find yourself daydreaming of something. Sometimes it’s the future. Sometimes it’s the past. Most of the time, it should be what’s right in front of you. There are some things you know, like how your parents will greet you when you come home, or the little things that bug you about your sibling.

But your future is something you don’t know. And that’s okay.