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Student Life

College Student Syndrome

Symptoms college students know all too well

Megan Sebastian

Nov 21, 2016

Calvin College

324

Hamilton-Wenham Miles River Middle School

Feeling tired all the time? Feeling fatigued even though you got eight hours of sleep the night before? Feeling stressed 24/7? You may be suffering from College Student Syndrome (CSS).

Symptoms may include (but are not limited to)....

1. Feeling tired all the time

It doesn't matter if you got two hours of sleep or 20 hours of sleep. You will always feel tired. No amount of caffeine will fix the tired feeling. When you are tired, feelings of being slap-happy may occur. When experiencing slap-happiness you can be a very interesting person to be around. Things that come out of your mouth make little to no sense but you don't really care.

2. Feeling stressed 24/7

You've always got something to stress about. Whether it's a paper that's due, vocab that needs to be memorized or a test that needs to be studied for, if it's not one thing, it's another. Having a job or being involved in clubs or extracurriculars will make you forget what sanity looks like.

3. Watching Netflix instead of doing Homework

Because why do homework when you could binge watch an entire season of Gilmore Girls or The Office instead? Oh! Anyone up for a season of Friends or Parks and Recreation? We all know that watching Netflix is the better option anyway.

4. Hanging out with friends instead of doing Homework

Because playing Pool or Apples to Apples is better than homework any day. In fact, being in the presence of your friends socializing is better than homework any day (for those social people). I mean you could theoretically do homework and hang out, but that's not that fun, now is it?

5. Doing ANYTHING except your Homework

Because literally anything in the world sounds more appealing than sitting down and writing that six page research paper you've already put off for way too long.

6. Wanting to go out and do things but also realizing you're broke.

Want to go to the movies? Sadly it costs $12. Want to go out to eat? Sure, if this place has a dollar menu! It is the eternal struggle of college students. Especially when you have to spend $500 on textbooks alone.

Cure?

Wait four years, graduate college, go into the real world and realize you're facing a whole new set of problems.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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College Student Syndrome

Symptoms college students know all too well

1. Feeling tired all the time

2. Feeling stressed 24/7

3. Watching Netflix instead of doing Homework

4. Hanging out with friends instead of doing Homework

5. Doing ANYTHING except your Homework

6. Wanting to go out and do things but also realizing you're broke.

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"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

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