The hookup culture, the "dating" lifestyle of 20-somethings and all other college students.
It has become a part of out everyday life but I am finally saying it, we are dumb if we think we can actually find love this way. I, like many others, find this to be a normal thing — the days of actual dating, asking for guys numbers and cute dates at ice cream shops are over.
How did that happen?
As a young adult in college, we are told to go out to parties, be social, hit up the bars and maybe, just maybe, the love of your life will come strolling in. If not, then find the cutest guy in the place, flirt with him for a little while and maybe he will slide into your DM's the next day.
Does anyone else see what is wrong with this?
Maybe my mom is right when she tells me I am an old soul but honestly, how can we expect to find love if no one is willing to come out from behind their phone screens or talk to each other sober anymore?
We all obsess over cheesy movies like "The Notebook" and "Dear John," always finishing the movie with the thought "Wow, if only relationships were actually like that" but the reality is those movies had to get inspiration from somewhere.
They did not just make up the fact that boys used to be romantic, and girls used to be hard to get, that dating culture used to be THE dating culture, and we are the ones who changed it.
When you truly think about it, the hookup culture is meant for failure. The idea of "friends with benefits", "just sex" or "no emotions" is never going to actually work, and even if it does is it truly worth your time?
What is the point in investing your time, physically and/or mentally, into someone if the result is that they just walk out of your life?
To me, the idea of hooking up with someone is a waste of my time. I know that some may not share these views with me, and maybe it is because I truly believe in true love.
The current young generations are the ones who have the power to change this trend. This is not how dating or falling in love has to be.
Don't slide into the guys Insta messages, ask him for his number in person. Do not ask a girl to come to your fraternity party that night, take her to dinner. Bring his mom flowers, shake her dad's hand.
The first ones to put their foot down are the ones who are going to make the biggest change.
We constantly complain about how we got screwed over by that guy or that girl totally led you on but what would have happened if we had just said, "hey if we actually want this to work then let's make an effort".
My final word to you is this: if you want something to work, if you want that old school love, then we are going to have to work on a culture change.
This is not something you just change in a single relationship, it is something you change in an entire community.