So...college is an adventure all in its self. For some it is their first time away from the comfort and security of being home. For others it is an escape from the shackles of home. Lastly for some it is a chance to actually further their education. Granted, that is what college is for but like most things in life its never that simple. Speaking of college, and its complications, the fact that it is now our first attempt at adult relationships is well for lack of a better word alarming.

We have been set back about 18 years due to School/family assisted relationships. By that I mean we usually only acquired friends or significant others through those facilities. High school was a bit of a social jungle but due to proximity, spirit weeks, dances, etc. we had the chance to talk to everyone and weave bonds with however many people you could. Sure, there was a social hierarchy but even the lowest on that totem pole had at least one friend. Then there is dating in high school which really just consisted of you finding someone in your friend group or a mutual friends group cute and he or she may think you are cute. Then all of your friends say you guys would be so cute together. AND YOU ARE! Family assisted relationships are the worst though. They are the pinnacle of things you don't want but are always forced upon you. Such as bonding with your cousins. That never worked for me my cousins are insufferable. Second, when your mom wants you to befriend her friend's kids. Which in theory would be cool if they had anything in common with you or were at least your age. If you're anything like me, sadly, all of those kids were either way younger or way older than you. Meaning you were babysitting or being babysat. Lastly in my case (I don't know about you all) my mother always wanted me to be with the cute little church girl. Tragically, she was never all that cute nor was she much of a church girl (if you know what I mean).

All this leads us up to the college freshman diligently trying to maneuver his way to building a social standing. During this time,I did realize something very important. It doesn't matter how beautiful, talented or unique you think you are. People here still wont talk to you. That means you have to take it upon yourself to form friendships/relationships. The mindset of the college student for the most part is different. We are in school to get out of school and get a job in order to get out of debt from being in school. That's to say unlike high school having a lot a friends isn't a good thing. It wont give you much rank popularity wise because no one actually cares. In my opinion the less friends you have in college the better the few friendships you create may last you a lifetime but trying to build too many of those lifelong bonds isn't going to work. Honestly it takes a lot of work just to build the few friendships you can. Everyone seems to have already established a friend group. So they aren't looking for new friends and they don't need any.

Now to the best part *insert drumroll* COLLEGE DATING! I'm here to crush everyone's dreams its mythical. College dating does not exist. Its like playing scrabble with a toddler; The letters they combine to form words make a lot of sense to them but none to you. Unless you are one of the lucky ones who come in with a significant other. But even time is steadily ticking for those couples. Sooooo, lets break it down to its simplest form. You have four years and each year is a stage of the dating process. Freshman year, This is the year you stay single. Take this time to feel out college and actually learn something. Besides freshman year everyone is either just getting out of a relationship or about to end one so emotions run high its not time. Next we have sophomore year, This is your ticket into the dating game. You've grown a little, got to experience college for one year and you passed your classes. Congratulations! you may now reward yourself by chasing after another responsibility. Scope around for that lucky someone or someones (get it how you live) and make the jump into the "talking" phase. Near the end of the year of the year you make it official. Third in our process is junior year. Junior year is the most simple year all you do is date. Enjoy each other and your relationship. Then the fourth and final year is senior year. This year is when you debate if you are going to stay in said relationship or cut it loose by graduation. There you have it, you come into to college single and inevitably end single. But don't take take it from me try it for yourself.

Sincerely, A shadow with thoughts