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If College Majors Were Vines

Stopppp I coulda dropped my croissant

Alison Everett

Apr 23, 2018

Clark University

586

vine

There's been a trend lately on Odyssey to imagine if college majors were [fill in the blank]. I thought I'd combine my two favorite things, Vine and making bad jokes, into one and make the "if college majors were Vines" article! Please don't take any of this seriously. Tag yourself, I'm "Marleneeee your speech was so good."

1. Theater

2. English

"What up I'm Jared, I'm 19, and I never f*ckin learned how to read."

3. Environmental Science

"Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

4. Sociology

"Two bros chillin' in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they're not gay"

5. Communications

"Oh my God, they were roommates"

6. Theology

"And read her bibleeeeee"

7. Graphic Design

8. Business

"f*ck off Janet, I'm not going to your f*cking baby shower"

9. History

10. Math

11. Early Childhood Education

"Do I look like...?"

12. Culinary

"Stoppppp I coulda dropped my croissant"

13. Criminal Justice

"CHRIS! IS THAT A WEED?"

14. Sports Management

"Hi my name is Trey I have a basketball game tomorrowwwww"

15. Military

This isn't really a major but I had to include this.

16. Gender Studies

"The feminists are taking over"

17. Political Science

"Marleneeeee"

18. Chemistry

"Two shots of vodka...."

19. Hospitality

"Hi welcome to Chili's"

20. Pre-Med

"Actually Meghan, I can't sit anywhere. I have hemorrhoids."

21. Music

"Country boy I love youuuuuu"

22. Engineering

23. Geography

"AMERICA EXPLAIN!!!"

24. Biology

25. Economics

26. Psychology

"HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME"

27. Physics

28. Philosophy

29. Undecided

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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If College Majors Were Vines

Stopppp I coulda dropped my croissant

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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