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College Majors as Riverdale Characters

You've read countless articles equating college majors to popular culture references, food, and zodiac signs. By now, you roll your eyes when you read articles as such, but you need to read one more: college majors as Riverdale characters.

Rachael Crosbie

Oct 14, 2017

Washington and Jefferson College

452

Bing Photos

Before listing the majors and their Riverdale character equivalents, I must warn you that spoilers may lie ahead. Also, I only included the main teenage characters.

1. Political Science (Poly Sci)

Let's start with the guy that caused the most mystery in season one (besides his killer!). Jason Blossom would definitely be a political science major. Why? Because he was popular despite his highly unlikable family, and he was captain of school water polo team. From captain to president of America? Could Jason Blossom do it? Well, we'll never know now, but I'm sure he would run for some type of candidacy, even if it's just for class president.

ALSO: Get the pun? Poly sci? Polly Cooper?

2. Psychology

Jason's next-to-kin, Cheryl Blossom would be a psychology major. After all, she is the queen of crazy. *Spoiler alert* Especially since she did burn her house down and threatened to kill her mommy dearest.

3. Communications

Everyone's actual favorite redhead, Archie Andrews, would be a communications major. He can make connections possible, even if by terrible means (Ms. Grundy and Clifford Blossom), or decent means (Josie and the Pussycats). Also, his knowledge of sports could make him an excellent sports broadcaster.

4. English

Archie's closest bro, Jughead Jones, would be an English major. This is definitely the most obvious considering that he is a writer, knowledgeable (his references are out of this world), and a deeply troubled soul (must I bring up his "I'm weird. I'm a weirdo" speech?) / Riverdale's very own Holden Caulfield.

5. Business

For Betty Cooper, the most obvious answer would be Journalism. However, due to her straight-A grades, miss-I-can-do-it-all attitude, and organization skills, she would be a shoe-in for business.

6. Criminal Justice

Kevin Keller, obviously, would be a criminal justice major. He would definitely follow his dad's footsteps. After all, he is deeply invested in the murder of Jason Blossom.

7. Economics

Lodge women know how to negotiate. Good negotiation and business skills can work wonderfully for an economic major, so that would definitely be the best subject of study for Veronica Lodge.

8. Music

Josie McCoy sunk her claws in music years ago when she formed her band, Josie and the Pussycats. Her ferocious love of sounds, feminist representation, and singing makes her a fantastic music major candidate.

9. Nursing

Last but not least, Polly Cooper would totally be a nursing major. She might not be the brightest, but her natural joy and love for others will take her far in the degree.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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College Majors as Riverdale Characters

You've read countless articles equating college majors to popular culture references, food, and zodiac signs. By now, you roll your eyes when you read articles as such, but you need to read one more: college majors as Riverdale characters.

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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