Along the way of overcoming the challenges that my long distance relationship had presented me with this year, I've realized there are things I wished I would've known beforehand. I love the cards that life has dealt me, and I wouldn't change a single thing. But that doesn't mean I don't wish things could have gone a little smoother. College is hard, and so are long-distance relationships. But with the right mindset, distance doesn't have to be something in the way of being with the one you love.
I'll be honest and admit that no matter who the partners are, or how in love they are, long distance relationships come with the inevitable struggles. I think at the end of the day all relationships are based on communication. The most important thing you can work towards is always having great communication so that both people in the relationship are being heard and actually feel like they're being heard. I learned the hard way that when it comes to having good communication with your loved one, practice makes perfect. Nowadays with technology being the main way to communicate, the amount of things that can get lost in translation is unbelievable.
My long-distance relationship taught me that no matter who it's with, never have tough conversations over the phone. Sometimes that means waiting two weeks to have a discussion that needs to be had in person, but it's worth waiting. It also took me months to realize that holding back my opinions and thoughts doesn't help anything, it just causes an unspoken tension. But I hope if you're someone who is struggling in a long distance relationship, you can learn from my mistakes and save yourself from making them.
Another lesson I've learned was that the time apart doesn't have to be viewed in a negative light. There are always things that will tough regardless. Sleeping alone isn't as comforting, worrying about my boyfriend will never end, and the goodbyes don't seem to be getting easier. That being said, I still love and embrace every aspect of my relationship. Every time I start to feel lonely, I'll try to get excited and count down the days until I get to see him again. When we see each other it's never more than a couple of days but that makes us cherish the moments we have together more.
Believe it or not, I think the distance has caused us to have a stronger connection. When you miss someone that bad, you end up being way more grateful for every day that you get to spend with them. I've also realized I experience my emotions way more deeply. There can be really low lows if you let your mind wander and think too far into details, but there is also the side where you get to be overly excited for something as simple as having dinner together. And although parting ways is inevitably disappointing, you'll always have something to look forward to again.
After being in one for a while now, I've gained this new perspective that long distance relationships that end up working out are more genuine. You end up realizing that although things are never convenient, you work towards a shared goal because of how much you two care about each other.
I've been asked several times if I'd recommend for someone in college to commit to a long distance relationship. When it comes down to it, I think anyone could make it work if they truly think it's meant to be. Distance has never stopped me from loving my boyfriend, it was just an obstacle for me to navigate my way through.
