Since purchasing a moped a few weeks ago, my life has changed drastically. It took a couple of days to get the hang of things and especially to get over the fact that numerous people are staring at me, in either awe-struck or on the verge of laughter (mostly the latter). But, when I set aside my battered ego and let the moped do the real talking, I was set for a life in the big leagues. 

For starters, navigating around in a moped is extremely cheap, once you get past the startup fee. Buying the actual moped obviously costs money, but it is much less expensive than a car. And once you have the beautiful machine in your reach, the monthly fees are amazing. More than 100 mpg? Count me in, and it takes you around a couple weeks or so to burn through one tank (one gallon of gas). 

Next comes the luxury of parking. If you go to a school with atrocious parking, which is about everyone these days, you'll always have the best and most easily accessible parking spot. I’m not saying they dedicate a parking spot since you look so stylish in your moped, I’m saying there literally is nowhere you cannot park. Of course, I wouldn’t test the campus police and rev your engine into lecture hall, but you can practically park right outside the door. So when you get jealous of your rich friend’s Range Rover looking all snazzy in the fourth parking lot to the left (7 minute walk if you’re lucky), just remember, you call the shots now. 

Last but not least, I must bring to your attention to the fun times to be had on your life-changing moped. Not only do you look cool riding it, but it is extremely difficult to not giggle at least once while tearing up the local roads. I have even tried racing a few cars on my long trek to the nearest Chipotle, but honestly I wouldn’t recommend going too far from home if it’s avoidable. Regardless, this speed demon can hit up to 45 mph in most starting mopeds, and if you have one of the weird biker dads, he might even equip you with one that can go on the highways (and these are still considered mopeds!) 

So let me know if you get fed up with your silly old or even brand new car. Not only can you save a lot of money, you can also park wherever you want and look good doing it. Just do me a favor: Next time you see the kid in the moped, refrain from your giggling and consider these few valid points I have laid out so that you yourself can get in the elite club that is the campus mopeders.