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College Life As Told By Kevin Malone

"Do you like it as much as you like men's butts?"

Olivia Lyon

Apr 04, 2016

Gettysburg College

tumblr.com

College life is pretty difficult and, according to Kevin Malone, life in general is difficult. Throughout all nine seasons of the office, Kevin pretty much narrated college life for everyone, you just didn't realize it until you actually lived through your first semester of college.

1. When you literally just do not have time for anything, even full sentence

2. When your professors decide to all assign exams and essays in the same week.

3. When you come home after a night out with your friends and pig out of everything.

4. When you see your best friend's Snapchat story of you from Friday night.

5. When you're trying to do your homework.

6. When you finally get food after not eating all day.

7. When you talk to your best friends about your dream guy.

8. When you see yourself in the mirror on Friday night.

9. When your best friend tells you that you look like a homeless person for your 8 a.m. classes.

10. When you take your last exam for the semester and can leave for the summer.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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College Life As Told By Kevin Malone

"Do you like it as much as you like men's butts?"

1. When you literally just do not have time for anything, even full sentence

2. When your professors decide to all assign exams and essays in the same week.

3. When you come home after a night out with your friends and pig out of everything.

4. When you see your best friend's Snapchat story of you from Friday night.

5. When you're trying to do your homework.

6. When you finally get food after not eating all day.

7. When you talk to your best friends about your dream guy.

8. When you see yourself in the mirror on Friday night.

9. When your best friend tells you that you look like a homeless person for your 8 a.m. classes.

10. When you take your last exam for the semester and can leave for the summer.

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AKA, Christmas overload.

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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