1. "If I'm wearing black tomorrow, it's because I'm mourning my grade."
2. "Do you want to try ordering Chinese takeout to take back to the stacks?"
3. "This final paper has me questioning if this professor just sucks or is Satan himself."
4. "Is that person over there OK? They've been sleeping for a while."
5. "Why are you online shopping?"
"I want to motivate myself to study."
"Since when do you have money to buy something anyway?"
6. "I wonder how much I could make as a stripper."
7. "There are no stress relief dogs, and I feel conned. My stress today is worse than yesterday."
8. "Rate My Professor screwed me over."
9. "I wore these clothes yesterday, and maybe even the day before, but it's fine."
10. "I wonder if I could sneak a beer in here."
11. "I just really want chocolate chip cookies."
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