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You Might be a College Idiot If...

5 ways to tell if you are a College idiot

Amy Rose Johnson

Feb 08, 2016

DeSales University

1. If you have burnt Easy Mac in the microwave, you might be a college idiot.

I know that not having your parents around to make you dinner can be intimidating, but following instructions on microwavable food is a basic skill. Trust me, the smell of burnt Easy Mac will haunt you for the rest of your dorm days. Open the microwave two weeks later? Burnt Easy Mac. Turn on the heater once the weather gets cold? Burnt Easy Mac. Ready to snuggle into bed for a deep slumber? BURNT EASY MAC.

2. If you voluntarily schedule an 8 a.m., you might be a college idiot.

You will regret it. That is all.

3. If you get too drunk to make the two-minute walk home, you might be a college idiot.

Granted, everyone has a bad night. Totally understandable. However, if you feel yourself getting to this point, turn back, and put yourself to rest my sweet prince. Going on a (two-minute walk) adventure to your friends' dorm, only to walk in and fall asleep on the bathroom floor will most likely leave you regretting your evening's decisions in the morning.

4. If you wait to write your 10-page term paper until the night before its due, you might be a college idiot.

I repeat: You will regret it.

5. If you don't love 2 a.m. trips for fries, you might be a college idiot.

Whether it's a victory trip after finishing that term paper or your drunk friends have demanded McDonalds, late night fries are never a bad idea.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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You Might be a College Idiot If...

5 ways to tell if you are a College idiot

1. If you have burnt Easy Mac in the microwave, you might be a college idiot.

2. If you voluntarily schedule an 8 a.m., you might be a college idiot.

3. If you get too drunk to make the two-minute walk home, you might be a college idiot.

4. If you wait to write your 10-page term paper until the night before its due, you might be a college idiot.

5. If you don't love 2 a.m. trips for fries, you might be a college idiot.

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For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

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