I didn’t get a chance to count the days for Christmas. I didn’t bake Christmas treats, I didn’t decorate my house in green and red lights and figurines, and I didn’t chop down a Christmas tree. I didn’t get a chance to do anything Christmas-y. Since 2014, my Christmases have been spent inside of a book. I studied, I listened to my professor, I took notes in blue and black ink, and I worried aimlessly over projects and exams. Exams and projects just ten days before I’d have to give empty boxes to my family and friends for Christmas. Once my college obligations were complete, I scrambled for last minute deals, ordered online using expensive one-day shipping, and picked the prettiest at-least-it’s-something gift cards. Slowly, over the next three years, the idea of celebrating this jolly holiday didn’t phase. It was more of an if-I-get-a-chance-I’ll-do-it event. A feeling childhood never taught me.

College is a vital necessity without a doubt. It creates opportunities and a diverse environment for the student. But, when it comes to the holidays, adjustments can’t be made; a pick-and-choose situation. It’s choosing college over Christmas; education over nostalgia. Since my fellow students and I were young, we were told that one day we had to grow up. One day we’d be wearing grey and blue blazers going to work for 8 plus hours making “the big ones.” Of course, when we heard this, we just shrugged our shoulders and continued to believe the floor was lava. But as we got older, life demanded more things. It took away our toys, it took away our nap time, it took away our imagination, it took away our moms and dads carrying us to bed after we fell asleep. Inch by inch, our blue blazers were being stitched together. And come that 2014, I was finally fitted for mine. The shoulders were too tight, so I sent it back. Come 2015, the sleeves were too long. In 2016, the interior was so itchy. But in 2017, it fit just right.

College is a step towards adulthood. And it couldn’t be clearer when carolers come to my door. It hurts to choose college over December traditions. It hurts that I must choose life over childhood. But it won’t stop me from drinking hot chocolate, putting holly on the rearview mirror of my car, or singing Christmas songs. In whatever way possible, I’ll try and keep Christmas alive. Adulthood may be my main priority but it’s not my only one. No matter what life demands of me, I’ll find ways to celebrate Christmas on my own. Blue blazer and all while wishing all a good night.