"College has pretty much turned me into a "Wine Mom". Except I'm a mom to a cat and the 'wine' is hot tea."

I have been an extrovert my entire life. The textbook definition of an extrovert is an outgoing, gregarious person. We gain energy from people whether or not they’re more than acquaintances. If they can hold a conversation they’re worthy. Us extroverts can’t really be alone too long for our thoughts start to wander. Or, we just get severely bored.

As an extrovert I was consistently getting involved in things. I always wanted to meet new people and go out and do things. The last year of high school was the best and worst for me. I got a job at a restaurant and the friends I made there were all over 21 and just as outgoing as I was. Being only 18 at the time, I dove into the party scene a little early. For someone who had alcoholism in her family and swore off alcohol almost completely I changed my mind when I had become a part of this group at work. They’d go to the bars around town and I was never I.D’d because I was seen as one of them. I would feed off of the attention they would give me and I loved it. I wanted to spend every minute with them and vice versa. I guess you could say I liked how the alcohol made me feel and it’s made me do some brave things that sober-high school me wouldn’t have done. But if that were the case then I’d drink alone. But it wasn’t. I liked how they made me feel, not the alcohol.

Now that I’m a Junior in college and have pretty much lived out the party phase (despite not even being 21 yet), I can honestly say I’m over the “college life.” I’ve found much more joy in spending a night in by myself having a Friends marathon on Netflix with a giant, hot cup of tea and maybe a bag of Cheetos if I’m feeling like treating myself.

But when I’m around people, or perhaps a large crowd - let’s say a party - I feel like I have to be someone else because I have a different sense of humor and the beer at the party starts to taste like piss water, meanwhile, I can’t help but make a face everytime I take a sip but getting drunk seems to be the only mission everyone has in common so I sip away.

I asked a guy at a party once what his major was and he replied “BEER!” and yodeled and soon his friends joined in. I “laughed” and raised my beer before I booked it when he turned around to try and chest bump someone twice his size.

I’ve had beer spilled on me from a girl dancing on a counter. I’ve been slapped in the ass by someone dressed up as a dragon (my school’s mascot). My date on halloween night dressed up as Trump and was somehow praised for it. I walked a mile in 4 inch high heels while completely hammered because my date was too drunk to drive me home. Two halloweens ago I danced with Naruto and I spent New Year’s Eve two years ago crying in the bathroom because I was too drunk to hold my cup. That is only a small cluster of events that I’ve managed to put on my “List of Reasons Why I Don’t Drink Anymore.”

Have I had memorable yet fun experiences at parties and with my friends? Of course! Just look through my photo gallery and you’ll see dozens of SnapChats saved from the funniest moments I’ve ever had. But you know what? The most memorable things that have happened in my life have been while I was sober with a small group of friends.

Will this change when I turn 21? Duh. But will I enjoy it more than if I was doing face masks with my roommates or going to Denny’s at 3:00 a.m. in the morning with my best friends? Of course not. Have I really become an introvert because of college? Of course not. I will always be outgoing and strive to try new things and experiences, but I’d rather do it in the aisles of Walmart at midnight or while driving down a long stretch of highway just to blast my favorite songs. It’s all in loving yourself and your own company and the company of those who enjoy your stupid laugh and messy hair.

The things you learn about yourself when you spend time alone. I thank college for teaching me that valuable lesson.