Graduating high school and heading off to college and the big bright world is probably the biggest coming of age event for most young adults. For me, it was my shining moment. I had made it. I got through the growing up stage, and I was off to conquer the next one. I was ready for anything that life had to throw at me.
Little did I know, I wasn't ready to conquer the world just because I was going to college.
Leaving home is the hardest thing to do, but at first, it seems like the easiest. No more parents telling you what to do. No more school uniform or getting sent to In School Suspension for being tardy (because making me miss more class makes sense.) Leaving home makes you a free agent. You can do what you want, when you want, and you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself.
Then, you run out of clean underwear. The next thing you know your dorm/apartment is a mess because no one seems to know how to use their close hamper or the trash can, you included. Suddenly you run out of that refund money from too many trips to Chick-Fil-A. Then you get your first power bill and literally cry because you have no idea how you're going to pay it. Of course, on top of everything else, you are trying to juggle Greek life, student organizations, a job, and school work.
Adults in your life that have watched you grow up keep saying, "Oh look how grown you've gotten! You seem to be doing so well!" Those statements just make us feel like we have to keep up the appearance that we have it all figured out. We tell ourselves that we have to be able to do it all our own because everyone else seems to be.
For some reason when we are at our wits end and stressed beyond control, it doesn't occur to us to ask for help. If it does occur to us, we say, "No, I'm grown now. I got this." But this attitude only makes us dig ourselves deeper into a hole. To admit that we actually have no idea what we are doing and our sanity is hanging by a thread is like admitting failure. Admitting failure just doesn't seem like an option... we've worked too hard to get here. There is a social stigma that surrounds going to college. We make ourselves believe that because we are in college now, we are supposed to know how to handle every situation and supposed to make it all on our own. The truth is that life never stops teaching us lessons, no matter how old we get.
I give this long winded testimony not just as something to relate to, but as advice.
Stop. Take a step back. Realize that just because you are now 18, 19, even 21, that it is okay to not be grown. It is okay to say, "I need help." The truth of the matter is, you haven't been through most of what life has to throw at you yet. You haven't had to see what being grown really is because your parents were the grown-ups for you. And you still don't have to be grown because that is what college is about: learning how to adult so that one day you can be grown.
So just stop. Pick up the phone and call your mom, dad, or whoever it is that you can call for help. If you don't have a person to call, then talk to your student advisor. Talk to your campus counseling services. There is an endless amount of help that is provided, but it is up to you to ask for it. It is also up to you to accept the help that is offered to you. If you don't accept the help, you can't expect to see a change.
Take it from someone who took two years and worked two to three jobs at a time to realize that I didn't have to be grown yet. Taking a step back and accepting the age that you are and accepting that you don't know everything will open up your mind to being able to learn how to get through this thing called life. Your grades and your livelihood will be better, and your future will appear that much more promising.
