Just a few weeks ago I found out I would be graduating college an entire year early.
I'm officially a member of the Degree in Three club, and I have to be honest, it feels so damn good.
Given all that has happened to me in the past year and a half, with almost leaving school twice due to my mental health issues, being so close to not going back this time last year, and transferring universities, I really thought graduating in five years was my reality.
I had made peace with that. I was going to keep kicking ass, keep working hard, and keep my priorities in check.
Well, when all of a sudden you have to be a real person in nine months, those priorities change.
My plan this year was to focus entirely on school and my job. Get A's and make money. Sounded like a good plan to me. But then I realized that I had made no effort to make a social life for myself.
Sure, I have my friends from work and I'm in leadership positions for the organizations I'm involved with at school. But I realized that the truth of the matter is that I'm really lonely.
I've been working since I was 14 years old. School has always been my priority. Hell, last week was syllabus week and I didn't go out once because I had hundreds of pages of reading that had to come first. I worked almost 28 hours at my part-time job. There wasn't any time for play.
So, I decided I was going to take Saturday mornings off and make that effort to go out on Friday nights, make plans with friends, and enjoy these last few months of fun before reality kicked in.
Turns out that wasn't in the plan.
I don't live at school. I rarely ask my parents for money. I work two jobs. I'm taking six classes.
My priority needs to be me. I have to sacrifice going out so I can be up for work early in the morning. I work six days a week, sometimes two jobs in one day or I hop off the train after school and go right to work. I have to get all of my reading done because my major is a lot more hypothetical than hands-on.
I hate saying "I can't," but when I do say it, it's because of where my priorities have to be. I'm learning quickly that "adulting" for me doesn't start once I have a degree in my hand. It's happening right now.
I turn down making plans a lot. And I'm constantly worried that people are thinking I'm trying to push them away. But really, I'm just trying to get it all done.
My priority right now is me. Do I love it? No. But it's my reality. And it can be extremely frustrating. But as long as I can recognize my frustration, do something about it, and keep moving forward, I think I'll make it out of this year just fine.
The universe has a plan for me. And all of this grinding will pay off one day. It just has to.
