It took me about three months to get acclimated to the college environment. I still struggle with homesickness and being alone, but finding friends was the toughest battle I fought through. I've come to realize in the past couple of weeks that seeking new friendships shouldn't be forceful. It takes time to feel comfortable around new people you've never met before. Here are a few tips to making faithful friendships and finding your place on campus being away from home.
Keep in touch with your friends from high school
I wouldn't be the person I am today without the love and support of my best friends from high school. No matter the circumstance, everyone misses at least one person while they are away from home. I make an effort to keep in touch with old friends to cultivate long-distance relationships. Though we may be hundreds of miles away from each other, FaceTime calls do not keep us apart.
This being said, lots of people change after high school. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and make new friends on your college campus. These people will help you with the everyday struggles of homesickness and often will share the same interests as you do!
You don't have to be besties with your roommate(s)
There's no rhyme or reason in determining a good roommate. Some choose to live with their best friend since kindergarten; others decide to pick at random through an online roommate finder. If you're not connecting with your roommate just as you thought you would, don't panic. Every college campus is full of opportunities to meet new people who share the same values and ideas as you do. While it may seem discouraging to not be besties with the person next door, reach out to those who will accept you for who you are.
Get out of your dorm room
If you're an introvert like me, it can be hard to put yourself out there to meet potential friends. While staying in to watch one more Netflix episode may sound like a great idea, you never know the possibility of making connections while going to campus events or joining an organization. Clubs hold you accountable to get out meet new people while meeting regularly throughout the semester. Repeated interaction is an important ingredient of establishing long-lasting friendships.
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable
Those who complain about "short conversation" don't understand that opening up about feelings leads to a lack of communication. Vulnerability isn't easy, but real connections do not spark unless we allow ourselves to be seen. Sharing your hurt and realizing your worth is a great step to making friends on campus. Who knows? Maybe you both are experiencing the same trials and suffering and can work towards a solution together.
Find a group
Doing something you love with others creates a special bond for friendship. Whether you have an interest in sports, leadership, or service, find an organization that allows you to connect with those who share similar interests. Sharing experiences gives people a topic to talk about which often leads to having a new friend.
Become an organizer
Often find yourself sitting alone with no plans? Don't be afraid to be the initiator for conversations. Take an active role in making plans that everyone will enjoy. Go on a road trip. Have a coffee date. Study at the library. Working together with multiple people can make small tasks easier to complete and downtime more enjoyable.
Understand your priorities
It can be easy to plan out your day going to classes, attending club meetings, eating dinner, and then making time for social life. While you may want to go out on Thursday night to have a great time with friends, make sure that your priorities are aligned with your goals. Is it better to stay out till 3 a.m. when you have a morning class or finish that homework you've procrastinated on? Decisions, decisions.
Be yourself
The most important part of any making any friendship is to be yourself. Let your personality shine through so that people will be drawn to who you are as a person. Those who don't accept you for who you are don't deserve to be your friend. Surround yourself with those who will build you up and show support.
While this article covers a lot of ground, the best advice I can give is to put these tips into practice. Applying just one piece of advice into your daily life can make a huge difference. Go out there and share your experiences. Have a great time. Make connections. Taking one of these steps can lead to a happier, healthy life and possibly a new friendship as well.
