Picture this: You’re starting your day on a normal Wednesday morning, you have class in a couple of hours and work later on. You make your morning coffee and grab something to snack on, just like any other morning. Except this morning is different. Something seems wrong. You have this pit in the bottom of your stomach and you feel overwhelmingly anxious to figure out what’s wrong. “Is it the test I have next week?”, “Am I worried about my finances?”, “Is it something my boyfriend said?”, “Oh no it must be because I’m worried about my family.” You never really know what it is. So you spend your entire day playing this guessing game with yourself. Often times you’re standoffish of these days because you don’t want anything or anyone else to make it worse. Even though in your head you know that nothing someone else does will truly make it any better or worse. What is this feeling of unknowing worry? Anxiety.
Anxiety. The dictionary defines anxiety as: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. But what it really is, is this intense feeling of unease that seems to control your every being without warning. The thing about anxiety is that it is completely unpredictable. It’s hard to know when you’re going to have a “day” as I like to call them. The days where you wake up and you just know. You know it’s going to be a day. You’re automatically uneasy and you don’t know why. Along with feeling uneasy you’re stressing to try to scramble something to tie these feelings to. But what do you do when these days come around? How do you solve this feeling that makes your head spin and make you tear up with every little thought? Here are my tips for anxiety that I’ve personally found helpful.
- Recognize that you’re not alone. That you are not abnormal and that others do understand what it’s like to feel this way. There are others willing to listen to you, and sometimes that’s all you need is for someone to realize and to reaffirm that you are not crazy.
- Also understand that some people will not understand how you feel and that those people aren’t the ones you should turn to. Do not open up to someone if they compare what you’re going through to something completely unrelated. If they make it about them, chances are it’s going to make you feel worse and make it feel like you don’t have it so bad. Do not let someone make you feel guilty or downplay your emotions. This is your mind and body, your emotions matter, if someone makes you feel like they don’t. Leave.
- Breath. I know it sounds dumb and over simple but honestly breath. The rhythmic patter of a 4 second inhale, 4 seconds holding breath, and 4 second exhale, will slow your sympathetic nervous system allowing you to calm your mind easier.
- Find your person. The person who listens and understands you. Everyone has one whether you know it or not. This person is your safety blanket that allows you to talk without fear of judgement.
- Cry. This helps me personally so I cannot speak for others. But sometimes I just need to cry. I need to release all the tension and get it out so I can regroup afterwards. Sometimes I cry for 5 minutes and others up to an hour. But I need to let go of what I feel before I can change my mood.
- Exercise. Running, walking, going to the gym helps release tension in your muscles and for a short period of time all you have to think about is your task at hand.
- Reduce caffeine. Caffeine increases your heart rate and that feeling of constant worry can make your heart race as well. The combination of anxiety and caffeine will often make the worry worse. Instead switch with decaffeinated tea or water.
- Understand that you cannot change everything. Let go of worry of which you have no control over. You cannot fix everything and everyone and that is okay. I promise. I know this one is easier said than done, but simple things like making a list in your head of what’s worth worrying about and what isn’t really does help.
I am in no way a psychologist or a doctor who has professional advice about anxiety. But I do have anxiety and I know what it feels like to not know or like what’s going on with your mind. I know it’s frightening and sometimes you don’t know where to begin to make it better. I know that everything about has personally helped me and I hope this helps someone who needs it as well.
