It seems like I started seeing digital countdowns for classmates’ college move-in days since senior year of high school began. After acceptance letters have rolled in and the emphasis on all the “lasts” at high school and home have passed, the beginning of college is looked forward to like nothing else. Months are spent designing college boards on Pinterest, weeks are spent scouring through the college website, days are spent picturing roommates and fantasizing about parties, and hours are spent coming up with the perfect typical graduation day Instagram caption, usually something along the lines of “can’t wait for the next chapter in my life!”

People spend such a huge bulk of pre-college time looking forward to their next four years, and they do this often with very high expectations in tow. After all, it’s hard not to when it seems like everyone around you can do nothing but post pictures of fancy senior portraits featuring college shirts and countdowns in the captions. But what happens when you actually get there, after you say goodbye to your family, unpack your boxes, and finally begin the “best four years of your life?”

The beginning of college sucks. I’m lucky enough to attend one of the most prestigious universities in the world. I am so blessed to be able to attend this school, but in my first couple of weeks here I’ve wanted to hop on a plane home multiple times a day. This isn’t because of my readings and essays, and it isn’t because of homesickness, it’s because of the feeling I get when I look around at my roommates, at my classmates, at everyone. It feels like everyone already had a group of best friends established from day one. It feels like everyone is already having a Snapchatable amount of fun at all hours. It feels like in the short amount of time we’ve been at school, everyone is already happy.

However, I know I have to remind myself that when I look around, there’s so much more than what meets the eye. The transition to college is rough for everyone, no matter how fun and amazing social media makes it seem for most. You could never tell by looking at them, but the seemingly comfortable and outgoing people you meet every day may spend every second of the day wondering if they truly belong at this school.

You could never tell by tapping through their obnoxiously long Snapchat story, but your best friend from home who had the “BEST NIGHT EVER!” at a frat party last night spent the entire time bored out of her mind, scrolling through her phone, and being disgusted by the sweat, vomit, and pushy guys (seriously though, do people actually have fun at frat parties?). Although it’s difficult to remind yourself, looking through social media or looking at people around you is not an accurate way to asses how someone’s life is going, and comparing your life to the highlight reel you see on someone’s Instagram does nothing good for you or your mental health. For every bid day picture and themed party selfie you see, you’re hidden from the stress and tears those people may be and probably are experiencing.

The college experience we all spend so much time fantasizing about doesn’t have to be your college experience, and the fact that people don’t emphasize this is literally costing lives.

For example, take a look at the story of UPenn freshman Madison Holleran. The runner for the school’s D1 track team had a loving family and an amazing group of high school friends. However, things were different for her once she got to college. Besides the stress of school and workouts, she felt like her college life wasn’t playing out the way society made it seem like it was supposed to. Looking through her Instagram feed, she saw her friends at other schools appearing like they were having the time of their lives and she constantly wondered why she didn’t feel the same way. At the beginning of her spring semester, Madison jumped off the ninth story of a school parking garage.

In the conversations I’ve had with roommates and people at home, I’ve realized that so many people carry the same insecurity that Madison did. Social media is fun, but when used as a means of comparing yourself to others, it can be life-altering in so many negative ways.

While I’m not necessarily happy right now, I don’t know yet what these next four years at college have in store for me. They may be the best of my life, they may be the worst of my life, or they may be somewhere in between. However, I know one thing is for sure: I’m going to try my best to avoid comparing my college life to other people’s college lives, and I sincerely hope other college students make the decision to do this too. Take social media with a grain of salt and remember, it’s okay to have moments in life that even the best filter would not make Instagram worthy.