August has swung around, so you might be looking up "how to survive college." First off, you’re not going to die in college. The worst that will happen is that you’ll fall on your face while trying to Snapchat a picture of a rainbow. But really: It Gets Worse.

“I am a high school graduate entering college for the first time. NEW YEAR, NEW ME." Actually, not really. It’s the difference of one summer season. Same you. You will not have a turnaround over the three months separating when you graduated to when you are entering college. And that’s fine, that’s okay!

You are a beautiful, sticky formless piece of clay ready to be molded by higher education. What a fantastic analogy, you’re welcome. But really, the prospect of going to college is so daunting that of course, you’d feel the need to rapidly form into some idea of what a “college-goer” is in order to survive or to say it was worth it.

While it’s good to have high expectations for yourself, it’s better to have realistic expectations or even no expectations for your first college experience. I’m sure the visions of unrivaled independence dance in your head. Or the parties and ideal people you’ll meet. Well, that’s why I, a college expert with 3 semesters under my belt, am here to tell you it gets so. Much. Worse! I can only say that with enthusiasm.

Food. We love it, we need it. Let’s talk about it. You know what’s better than campus food? Probably most things after eating it for two weeks straight. Or at least after the honeymoon period of being at college and the quality takes a turn for the worst. “Quality” being used lightly here, like the amount of seasoning used on said food. Picture this: the doors to your food hall will swing open and the aroma of the same five circulating dinner meals will fill your nose. But it’s okay, because tonight you’re in for a treat. Instead of undercooked flavorless white rice, there’s going to be OVERcooked flavorless white rice.

Don’t even think to complain about the flamingo-pink innards of your mass-cooked chicken, just be happy it’s there as the other option! And hey, small price to pay for not living at home and enjoying a quality home-cooked meal. You can almost tell how not bitter I’m trying, but failing to be. Campus food is cooked usually 3 times a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This food is prepared for a large sum of humans to consume so you’re usually getting more quantity than quality. Solution? Scrape off your taste buds or simply be the most envied and hated student on campus for being rich enough to eat elsewhere every day. The former is cheaper. The amount of mediocrity that you’re going to subject your mouth to is not only going to make you crave home-cooked food again, but maybe make you consider footing it 500+ miles just to get a taste. (Insert The Proclaimers “500 Miles” song here).

In college, it’s a classic scenario to live in a modestly small box (read: personalized prison chamber) with another known or unknown human. You might meet them while they’re hanging up their Paramore posters and think to yourself, “Wow, how dated.”, but this is the person you’re going to be spending at least the next two semesters with. Unless you get a room change right away because the sight of mid- 2000s alternative rock is dragging you back to middle school. You’ll never have the luxury of turning the lights on and off without the consideration of the other person. The bed times, the temperature of the room, when people can hang out in your room, if it’s acceptable to eat microwaved 2-day old Thai noodles - ALL compromises you’ll have to make! More than that, there’s the expectation that your college roommate has to be or is definitely going to be your best friend. They might not be and that is swell as well! All that matters is that you two can get along in a close living setting where you’ll both definitely be breathing in each other’s gasses. Some people just aren’t humble and like to toot their own butts. I mean horns. I’m a college student.

It makes sense to make CENTS. College is much like a vacuum in that it SUCKS. Sucks your money that is. College is great, it’s just also bad. Bad for your wallet. While you don’t have to directly pay out of pocket to eat because of your meal plan, you’ll need money for books, supplies, toiletries, and the list goes. That’s why I advise either trying to get a summer job before school or work study if available. Or just have rich parents. College is purgatory. It’s between the care-free time of being a teen and the full gut punch of “the real world”. College is foreplay. Really anxiety-inducing, disappointing, enlightening, and fun foreplay!

Lastly, It’s okay to be afraid. You’re going to be afraid. You’re going to be uncomfortable. So, of course, you’re going to have all these ideas and expectations about college. What you’ll do, what you might become. How much better you think it’s going to be than anything you’ve ever experienced. And it’s okay to not know who you are going in and to still not know who you are at the end of the semester. Anyone who seems like they know what they’re doing or who they are, is a great actor. College isn’t there to change you, it’s there to help you discover and to help you see things from a different more enlightened perspective.

Embrace failure because our mortality is so fragile and every day you spend overthinking how you want to be and what you want to do, is wasted time! What I mean to say is college is great and I hope you make the most of it.