To the college freshman that had the worst first year,

As the year ends, you might be realizing that this year wasn't what you wanted it to be. Maybe you didn't make many friends, or you didn't get the grades you wanted, or you seemed to find yourself in the center of all of the drama. There are so many expectations that society sets on having the "perfect freshman year," and maybe you are realizing now that really, it doesn't exist.

First of all, know that I speak from experience. My freshman year was terrible. It was full of struggles, tears, and lots of loneliness. It seemed like everyone had it figured out but me. But just know that now, as I finish my sophomore year of college, I have a lot to say to you now.

Know that you're, by far, not the only one. Looking back on my freshman year, the feeling I remember the most is the feeling that everyone else has it figured out but you. I can tell you right now that that was a facade.

I have talked to so many people that have admitted that their friendships were shallow, their parties were for social status that they no longer care about, they wish they had more true friends, and their grades were probably horrible because of it all.

Talking to these people made me realize that whether you feel you have no friends, or simply no true friends, we're all in this together. In a time of your life where everything is changing, and your world is turned upside down, we all feel that same pain.

Know that life is so much better outside of a dorm. Living in a crammed, tiny little shoebox with another person, and no privacy, definitely clouds your judgment of the year. Once you get into a living space that's a little more breathable, things really start to look up. If you're having a bad day, you can actually play your music out loud, and you can actually be by yourself.

This really, really helps. Even the little things, like being able to cook pasta on a stove make a difference, because you realize that your quality of living has gone up.

Know that involvement is key, but not like they say it is. When you're going to college for the first time, everyone says "get involved in as much as you can," and that's just not right. Yes, get involved, but instead of joining every club you can think of, take the time to research what would benefit you most. Really look into it, and try and find an organization that maybe isn't even advertised well. You'll be surprised by what you find, and the people you could meet.

There's a reason I'm writing this article right now, and its because I had a passion for writing, and sought out an outlet. That's not how I did things my freshman year. Joining everything you can think of will lead to those shallow friendships while joining something you fit into and belong to will lead you to your people.

Know that you need to put yourself out there. Go to football games, go to basketball games, go to the random events that the dorms host, go to the rec center. Just getting out of your dorm will probably make you feel so much better. Push yourself to do new things and go to events, because you never know who you could meet there.

Even if you're just going by yourself, it's still just fun to get out and do new things you normally wouldn't. You'll be proud of yourself in the long run.

Know that if you keep an open mind, and push yourself hard, your sophomore year can be amazing. If you've had a bad year, now is your time to reflect on everything that happened, and push yourself farther. Use those bad times as a tool to motivate yourself to never experience that again. Remember to be outgoing, because you never know who had the same experience as you.

People are not as judgmental as you think, really everyone just wants good friends at this time of life. Finding a group that fits you can help you find a voice you didn't think you had, and you'll realize that through all of the pain of your first year, you're a better person now.

Sincerely,

The girl who was in your shoes.