I came to the realization somewhere far into the college application process that I would never be able to narrow down the pool to non-party schools. It's just not feasible when drinking in college is met with relentless determination no matter the night (yes, even Tuesdays). The intention for the evening is clear from the moment someone asks, "Are we going out tonight?" Instead of a sober commingling with our collegiate counterparts we search frantically for alcohol to alleviate the awkwardness any gaggle of freshmen girls ultimately bring with them. Whether you find yourself in a fraternity house watching boys exploit their innate competitive nature over a game of beer pong or standing among a crowd of your peers in a bar it's the same: no one wants to be sober. Even I am guilty of this desire and my only explanation for it lies within the culture that has taken siege of campuses across the country like some carnivorous vine you would see in a horror movie.

I am a college freshman that could not care less about partying. Maybe it is because my parents weren't all that strict and were lenient enough that I got the binge drinking bug out of my system early. After ending the night with my head in the toilet once or twice I abandoned all desires to ever find myself in that state again. The anxiety over fake ID's, my distinct underage odor, and the pressure to find a semi-decent-non-rapist guy to buy me a drink all make going out much less appealing.

I've been at college for a whole two weeks and in that time I've been to one frat and two bars. I've come to the conclusion that there is no distinct difference between any of the above venues in terms of atmosphere and overall experience and quite frankly, I don't know what all the hype is about. I'm not a total square, and I resent those who would define me as such. I love to have "fun," but the average college freshman's definition of "fun" usually involves forgetting their name or how they got home. That kind of "fun" seems vastly overrated when I could be spending Wine Wednesday in my dorm with my roomie. Not to mention the hangover phase of a night not remembered only makes for a dehydrated, cranky, and ravenously hungry creature the next day. None of which has any benefit considering productivity with a hangover is at an all time low.

The club might be going up on a Tuesday, but it will have to do so without me.