Cozy fall nights, wrapped up in a blanket together, sipping on hot cocoa, watching cheesy horror flicks.
Thrilling winter ski trips out to snowy mountains, racing one another to the bottom of the run, snowflakes turning cheeks red on contact.
Gorgeous spring afternoon picnics that end with the setting of the sun over flowered parks and music softly dancing on the breeze.
Hot summer nights on the beach watching fireworks pop and fizz overhead, laying together on a towel, fingers intertwined.
Everything is better in a relationship, right?
Wrong.
Well, ok, not wrong per se, but not everything is immediately fixed by declaring to the world that you're such-and-such's boyfriend or girlfriend. And that's what drives me crazy about college: Freshman dating.
Let me start off with a statement: I'm not anti-relationship, not at all. In fact, I think finding someone who fits you well and deciding to commit yourself to that person is a truly great thing. I just don't think that's what Freshman need to be focusing on.
College is the begging of a whole new stage of life for so many young adults. Every fall, dorms are crammed with kids who are on the own for the first time; able to make decisions about what they eat, what they do, how much they study, etc. And some view it as the time to find a soul mate. To those, I must ask, why?
Personally, I'm still trying to find where all my college events and classes are, not trying to find the person I'm planning to devote a solid chunk of my time to. That's another thing: time management. Freshmen are normally overwhelmed with the amount of work given to them first semester. So tell me, how do you plan on fitting a solid dating time period into that hectic schedule?
Answer is, you don't.
Eventually, you're going to drop the ball. Be it in the relationship, in a sports practice, on in a class, there's going to be some give and take. And, sadly, that's when people start getting hurt. Important parts of serious relationships involve building one another up, listening to and helping each other in situations. How are you supposed to do that while also juggling two tests and a three page paper the next day? Again, you don't. You have to sacrifice sleep, a poor grade, or a chance to make your relationship stronger. Not exactly the easiest decision to make.
Then there's the rest of the friends you have. I detest the phrasing of "bros before hos" (or the female version, "besties before testes") but it does bare a solid point, college is a time to make friends, branch out. You can't do that if you devote 90% of your free time to your guy or gal. Now, group dates are great, or even having your partner spend time with your crew is cool, the only problem is that not everyone is going to get along. Either the date-mates will pair off and start doing heir own thing or there'll be a nonsensical argument that ruins the mood of the night, or something. Life is never perfect, and neither are people.
My main point is to evaluate your situation. If you're a Freshamn and you're dating someone while miraculously balancing all your classwork and also keeping in great touch with all your friends I applaud you. In fact, I'm jealous of you. I know with that amount of responsibilities on my shoulders currently I couldn't handle all that as well.
And there it is, my statement: I will not be in a serious relationship first semester of Freshman year of college. Maybe a date here or there? Sure, why not. You won't see me turning down free food. But will I be texting my bf every hour to see how he's feeling? Not so much.
Oh, and a final note to those of you Freshman that are in a relationship: please stop holding each other's hands, swinging them as you walk from class to class at 10 in the morning. We're not in first grade anymore and I'm trying to keep my coffee down.
