I started my freshman year of college in a relationship and it wasn’t until the beginning of my sophomore year I got to experience my first taste of college single life. Let me tell you it’s a weird phenomenon. Some days I love it, and other days I am like this is just so weird. You all live in the same place so if the first date doesn’t go so hot, you have to awkwardly dodge the guy while trying to print your paper in the library. College dating is weird because you know people who are with someone new every few weeks and then you have friends who have found “the one” and sometimes you aren’t quite sure where you fit in and feel like you’ll be forever single. Dating can be weird, awkward and scary all rolled into one strange experience. But never fear, here is some dating advice thanks to our favorite Grey’s Anatomy characters to help you navigate the big bad world of dating.
I know dating can be scary, but like what Dr. Grey says, you can't let fear get in your way! Don't waste your time and energy being worried or overthinking. Jump in and find who you are. You are strong and you are confident, hesitating is not an option. If you left an old relationship behind or haven't had a serious relationship before, you cannot be scared of what's next. Take it one day at a time and don't rush the future.
Well said, Mer! A boyfriend is not the answer to all of life’s problems (boys most likely will cause more problems because that’s what they are good at!) If you go out looking for someone who you think is going to fix who you are and save you, you will end up disappointed. Stand up on your own two feet and be independent. You have to be strong and comfortable in who you are before you can lean on someone else for support. Save yourself first, don’t expect someone else to, be your own knight in shining armor.
I get it, trust me…dating after a break up is terrifying. You were comfortable with someone and you have to start all over again. But I promise you there is nothing better than starting over with someone amazing rather than staying in a mediocre relationship that you are comfortable in. As McSteamy reminds us… be brave enough to get back out there. You deserve someone amazing. “You fought, you loved, you lost, walk tall.” Acknowledge your past but free yourself from it and walk tall into that dating world. Thanks Mark Sloan for this beautiful piece of advice.
Most importantly have some self-respect. Be feisty and don’t just roll over for anyone. Fight hard to have your opinions heard. If you walk around with this type of confidence, you will attract the right type of men into your life. Guys who are scared of strong women who are a force of nature are not one’s you want to settle down and have a relationship with. When you hold your standard high you will be surprised the kind of people who will be drawn towards you and the ones who will run for the trees when they realize they can’t control you.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO YOUR FRIENDS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS!!! Just don’t do it. Be excited for them, not jealous. They are happy in their relationship and hopefully before you know it they will be happy for you and your new boo. Theodore Roosevelt once said “comparison is the thief of joy” and that is the truth. The more you are taken over by the green monster, the less time you have to focus on yourself. Be happy for your friends in a relationship and stop trying to compare yourself to them. Wouldn’t you rather find someone amazing instead of rushing into something because you are trying to keep up with your friends? Like Dr. Bailey said, “You will meet your own Ben.”
Forget your ex-boyfriend, or that guy that wouldn’t let you label your “relationship” but you were basically together, right? Forget them! You have lost them but it’s time to go find new people. I know it can be tough to let go of the past but Karev is right, this is how life works. People leave and we meet others. Embrace the college single life and go find your new people!
PREACH CRISTINA YANG! Stop going after guys that you know will let you down and lead to heartache. Look for men who are consistent. Sketchiness is not a characteristic that makes for a good boyfriend. Arrogance is also not high on the list either. Guys who are unwilling to commit and are full of excuses are crappy. Stop accepting their crap and stand up and demand the respect you and I both know you deserve. If you want to stop getting walked all over like a doormat, stop accepting every guy’s crap. If he can’t show up and treat you the way you deserve to be treated then he isn’t worth your time.
Don’t go after a man who treats you like you are beneath him. You are allowed to be powerful, confident and successful. Be fierce and unapologetic about it. If you’re going for someone who can’t handle your ambitions and power they are not the one for you. Don’t force it, as Beyonce would say “tell him boy, bye.” Look for someone who not only can handle your power, but embraces is. Find yourself a man who can inspire and encourage you in all that you do.
I don’t know about you, but I love applicable Cristina Yang quotes. You have to admit she hits the nail on the head with this one for sure! Guys will tell you that you look sooooo hot in that super-tight-not-mom-appropriate-shirt that you wore to that party last weekend. It’s really easy to rack up compliments about appearance, but make sure you realize you are more dimensional then that! Find a guy who compliments you on your kindness, or intelligence. Or find someone who loves the way you laugh so hard you snort, or the way you put 100% into everything that you do. Remember when you have jumped into this scary world of dating that you are so much more than just “beautiful.”
While I am still heartbroken that Derek had to go and get hit by a truck… His quote about what we deserve resonates with me even beyond the grave. Remember this is college. We are young. This is the easiest life will be. If the guy you’re dating is complicating your life now….imagine how much more complicated life will be when you add a mortgage and three kids! You deserve someone who won’t hurt you, remember that. Often times we feel as though we can’t do better than what is right in front of us because we are scared, so we settle. Remember what McDreamy said, you deserve to be happy!
While I will reiterate the fact that you must keep your standards high, college dating is all about taking risks too. You never know unless you try. If that cute guy in your English class asks you to go get Moe’s, why not!! If he’s single and you’re single what do you have to lose?! In ten years you could be telling your children how you and their dad met. Or maybe it goes horribly and you and your roommates have a funny story to laugh at for the next month. Embrace it, take chances because like what Addison said, you never know what opportunity could change your life!
Thank you Meredith for instilling us with your wise words once again. Stop stressing out about how you look or what boys are trying to hit on you at a party. We can try to make something work with someone, and no matter how much we try, if we are not meant to be together it won’t work out. Remember the universe will take care of us. “It has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.” So relax and take a chill pill, yes you may be single right now desperately looking to be in a relationship, but don’t force it, Meredith and I both promise you will end up exactly where you’re supposed to be with who you are supposed to be there with.
Our most important piece of advice comes from Dr. Yang herself (of course, would you expect anything less?) This quote is in reference to Mer and Derek. Remember physical appearance isn’t what makes a relationship. Both parties need to feel equaled and valued. Don’t let his attractiveness, status, athletic ability, popularity or intelligence let you forget that you are just as great. Don’t let his dreaminess distract you from how amazing that you are. “He is very dreamy but he is not the sun, you are.”
Thanks for the well wishes MB. The college single life is a rollercoaster of emotions. As long as you remember your worth and you deserve the world you will be A-Okay! Don’t let anyone treat you like dirt and display confidence. It is also perfectly okay to enjoy the single life and not worry about boys and relationships but rather focusing on yourself. As Miranda Bailey has said good luck to you as you navigate the dating world and remember keep your head held high and your standards even higher!