I can't believe it. In less than a week, I will walk across that stage in my cap and gown and draw the last four years of my life to a bittersweet close. I’ll get to call myself an official member of the University of Minnesota Alumni Association, and a blur of memories will wash over me as I begin to fully comprehend the gravity of what just happened - college has ended.
Between bouts of emotional tears and pangs of anxiety about this mysterious “real world” that everyone can’t seem to stop talking about, I'll be forced to reflect on all that I have learned during my rollercoaster experience at the University of Minnesota - Twin Cities. It has been painful and difficult. From late nights spent chugging coffee and frantically cramming at Walter Library to mornings when it seemed impossible to drag myself out of bed, college was by no means easy. But, it has also been incredibly fun. From crazy Gopher Game Days and Spring Jams to dancing on the beach in Ecuador while abroad, I have had some of the absolute best days of my life. Most importantly, it has been transformative. I will walk across that stage on graduation day as someone who would almost seem a stranger to the eager and nervous girl who arrived at 17th Avenue Residence Hall to move into her dorm room four years ago.
So, as a gift to myself, I have written up a list of insights I would like to give to that freshman girl if I had the chance – to not only help her succeed but to make the most of her college experience and to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how abysmal the darkest moments may seem. I hope that current, former, and future college students can relate to it and use it to guide them in their own journeys, too.
1. Have an open mind and don’t be afraid to question your beliefs.
College is a time to explore who you actually are as a human being, and that exploration process is infinitely enhanced if you are open to new ideas and experiences. Talk to people who think, act or look differently than you. If you are liberal, sit down for coffee with the president of College Republicans. If you are a Christian, ask a Muslim about their holiday traditions. Listen to understand them, not just to debate. The worst that can happen is that you learn something new from the experience.
2. Changing your major is NOT the end of the world.
It’s ridiculous to think that you have the capacity to make a decision as important as what you want to do for the rest of your life when you enter college as an 18-year-old – your frontal lobe isn’t even fully developed yet! College is a time to explore new interests and opportunities, and many times that means ruling out areas and topics of study that you don’t like. I transferred from business to Spanish during my sophomore year and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Continuously try new things and don’t stress if you change your mind along the way.
3. Relationships are the key to making your college experience meaningful. Don’t underestimate the power in getting to know the people around you.
College is great; don’t get me wrong. But the people you meet in college are going to make all the difference. Four years later, the friends I met during Welcome Week have become my family and my professors have become my unfaltering sources of wisdom, guidance and encouragement. So don’t just sit in your room and watch Netflix! Talk to strangers. Go to office hours. Ask that new friend to go to yoga class with you. You never know how the people around you will challenge, motivate and support you when you need them most.
4. Keep applying for scholarships throughout college!
Seriously, I feel like no one is aware that universities have boatloads of cash just sitting around to support current college students – all you have to do is apply for it! I funded a significant amount of my education by staying on that “scholarship grind” and writing essays almost every semester and my parents are very thankful that I was able to help them out.
5. SLEEP. I can’t emphasize this one enough.
I wholeheartedly believe that sleep is the single most important ingredient to my mental and physical well-being. Happiness for me is defined by getting eight hours a night and fully functioning as a human being the next day.
6. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to things.
As a chronic people-pleaser, this lesson has been incredibly difficult for me. I want people to like me, and I want to make them happy. But I have learned through repeatedly over-extending myself with commitments and enduring emotional breakdowns that it is not worth it. Sometimes you have to prioritize your own wellbeing. If something won’t contribute to your happiness, don’t do it. Saying “no” is one of the most challenging and powerful skills I have learned on my journey to a more balanced life.
7. Don’t be afraid to say “yes” to things.
On the flip side, there are instances in which you should push yourself to step outside your comfort zone and say “yes” to things, too. This is a time in your life set aside for making dumb decisions (within reason) and for embracing once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Take that interesting class outside of your major, join that new club and embrace adventure by studying abroad. Just make sure that you have enough time and energy to fully commit to these experiences.
8. Have a plan for the future, but be ready for it to change as the future actually unfolds.
When I came to college, I thought I would follow my extremely detailed 10-year life plan. Wow, was I wrong. Through my experiences, I have found that passions can uncover themselves in unexpected ways and I would not have embraced my true interests without giving myself the space to rewrite that 10-year plan over and over again. Life is much more unpredictable than I had anticipated, but I have learned how to appreciate its ambiguity.
9. Stop trying to be the "best" or to achieve perfection. Just focus on showing up every day as the best version of yourself.
I have struggled with this one for years. For so much of my life, I have driven myself to great lengths to be “the best” at things, to “win” in the competition of life. And guess what? I never accomplished it, because it’s an absolutely impossible aspiration. I’ve arrived at the conclusion that there are just too many people in this world to compete with. So, after being humbled by the sheer quantity of awesome and successful people I came into contact with in college, I stopped competing. This completely changed my life. Now, rather than viewing others’ successes as my own failures, I can confidently move through the world pursuing my own goals and working to become the best version of myself, without having to worry about being perfect anymore.
10. Don’t just sit on the sideline – the game will be over before you know it.
It may not appear so now, but four years is a very short period of time. Make the most of every challenge and triumph that comes your way, because these are four crazy years that you’ll cherish for the rest of your life.
