To the average high school senior, the college decision process is one of the most daunting times of adolescence. So many (or not as many as desired) choices to choose from, information being thrown at you left and right, and endless opportunities awaiting.
Students often face pressure from both family and friends regarding what is considered the "best fit". They are told by parents to choose the school with the best rank, best financial aid package, or the school closest to home. Peer pressure abounds, with friends choosing to remain inside a one-two hour "bubble". We fear change, and often without realizing it, we choose an environment that often resembles the life we are used to at home. While this is not always the case, many of us are overwhelmed by the changes associated with beginning college, let alone the changes associated with a new environment or culture and choose a college similar to that of our current routine. Are we making a choice that is best for our futures, or best for our anxieties?
1. Leaving the bubble
Less than six months ago, I too was the overwhelmed high school senior attempting to plan her next four years. All of my friends chose to remain within 3 hours maximum from home, with most remaining in the New York/Pennsylvania region. Family and friends advised me to stay close to home in the event something happened, such as illness or family emergencies, and to remain in an area that would allow me to visit home frequently. Rejections and acceptances came and went, and by April I was saddled with several great opportunities. I could have stayed within a few hours, drove home on the weekends, and gone to a college with students similar to the ones I grew up with. My friends would have been nearby, and yes Mom would have likely been able to come by and do my laundry.
But I wanted more.
I wanted a change. I felt the stirrings of wanderlust, and knew that I was destined to seek out a life different from the one I had growing up with. I was independent, adventurous, and desperate to meet others with different cultures and stories from my own. My acceptance and decision to enroll at UC San Diego was one I knew from the moment I arrived on campus was right, and perhaps was a moment of fate. We all are destined for adventure, as it is part of human instinct to seek the unknown. So to my fellow adventurers, here are a few tips to help you as you decide on the next chapter of your life:
2. Miles are just a number
San Diego is roughly 3,000 miles from my hometown in New Jersey, and yes the math does not lie-it's far. Ironically, the impact of distance is mostly psychological. Thanks to modern technology such as iMessage and Facetime, it is very easy to stay connected with those from home. Those who care will reciprocate the effort you put forward in staying connected and maintaining relationships. Sure, some will loose touch. But those who care will be there for you. Distance does complicate things, but organization and time management makes the process much easier. Worried about moving in? Make a list of what you need to buy when you arrive. Feeling homesick and missing mom's cooking? Set aside time to talk, and learn some recipes that will keep you satisfied! Missing your pet? Facetime does wonders.
3. Heavily consider the potential positive outcomes
If you have an excellent academic opportunity at a great school that you know you will love but are hesitant to choose because of distance, consider the opportunity available to you. I knew in my heart that in the areas of STEM and environmental science, there was no better place in the country than UC San Diego for me. Any opportunity back home could not compare.
4. Remember that college is not forever
Just because you choose a college across the country does not mean you are never returning. Sure, career opportunities sometimes are closely related to proximity to your college. But not always. By doing adequate research, you will be able to find a school that offers opportunities in many areas of the country if not the world. And if not, often times they can still be found. It is important to remember that college is merely four years of your life, and that your identity does not depend on your college.
5. Choose somewhere that satisfies your need to explore
Are you a thrill seeker? Skier? Surfer? Then choose a place where you can pursue your passions! San Diego has some of the best surf, hiking, and diving in the world, and opportunities to pursue recreation abound. It is important to fuel not only your educational opportunities, but to also develop healthy habits and pursue activities that allow you to further enjoy your life. No level of academic success will make you satisfied unless you are content with your life outside of the classroom. I knew coming into UC San Diego that I would be doomed to four long years of chemistry and rough STEM courses, and wanted the opportunity to enjoy my recreational side as a way to stay healthy and psychologically content throughout college.
6. Don't let others tell you what is best for you.
For awhile, I dreaded telling friends, teachers, and other adults my plans after high school. The typical conversation went something along the lines of this:
Person: "So what are your plans for next year?"
Me: "I'll be at UC San Diego studying something with the environment-either environmental engineering or environmental chemistry."
Person: "WOW. So far?"
Me: "....well yes..."
Person: "I would NEVER let my child go so far/I would never go so far! What must your parents be thinking? That is going to be so different for you."
Yes, quite different. Yes, we did the math. But just because others are not comfortable with the idea does not mean you should second guess what you know is the best opportunity for you. In times of doubt, address your fears by answering any fears you have. Scared of how often you will be coming home? Look at a calendar and plan your returns! More often than not, you will be returning home for break just as often as your friends that stayed nearby. Planning ahead is cheaper, provides you with something to look forward to, and allows you to stay organized. Planning ahead and doing adequate research helps resolve not only your fears, but teaches you to become an independent, self-sufficient adult.
7. Do not be afraid to fail.
It is ok to not be perfect. Sure, it will take you awhile to get used to timezones, and you may miss your first flight home when thrown into the busy airport, but life is an endless learning opportunity. It is ok to realize down the road that you made the wrong choice, and resources are available to help you find the right choice-whether it be transferring back home, taking fewer classes, or taking a break from school altogether. Learn from the mistakes you make early on to ensure you do not repeat them.
8. Know that you are never alone
People often get homesick, whether it be one hour from home or forty. Remembering that you are not the only person feeling afraid or lonely is essential for getting through challenges. Getting involved and keeping busy is the best way to conquer your feelings of isolation. When I feel lonely, I love to just take my bike out or hop on a bus and explore the city. Make friends that will help you develop healthy habits and that you can depend on when so far from home, and immerse yourself in the surrounding area.
9. Choose a place that will help you grow as a person
Choosing to go to college in a setting so different from my hometown has expanded my mind in so many ways. Not only have I met many amazing people, and continue to do so daily, but with each person comes a new story or experience different than my own. I love that in one day, I am able to hear a variety of languages spoken that are different from my own. I love meeting people from a variety of cultures, people with a variety of beliefs, people that share similar passions of mine. College is the time to surround yourself with others who share similar drive and passion as yourself, and there are so many opportunities on campus to further pursue your dreams.
All in all, college is a time not just for educational endeavors, it is a time for personal growth. Choosing a school on the other side of the country has expanded my horizons in so many ways, and has encouraged me to always expand upon and pursue the things that excite me. Whether it be 500 miles or 3,000 miles, I encourage everyone to seek out a college experience different from the comforts of home.
