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The Craziest Coldplay Conspiracy You've Ever Heard

Viva La Vida (kinda loca).

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The Craziest Coldplay Conspiracy You've Ever Heard
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Fact: every single album Coldplay has ever released was pure gold.

Fact: Chris Martin is an angel left on earth to appease the human race with his sweet, sweet voice.

Among the thousands upon thousands of brilliant artists, Coldplay will forever be one of the greatest bands to share their talents with the world. A few of my favorite songs include “Yellow”, “The Scientist”, “Parachutes”, “Fix You”…. and basically every other song.

Although I was only around five when they first began to make a name for themselves, I can remember hearing their songs from an early age and falling in love. I am proud to say I can confidently sing (off key) almost any Coldplay song and seldom miss a word. “Viva La Vida” was Coldplay’s first hit that steadily rose to the top of the charts to Number 1 and is still one of their most famous songs to date.

In high school one of my history teachers always tried to relate the material to us kids in an attempt to keep our attention. He showed us a remediation of the “Viva La Vida” video claiming it is embedded with real historical events. After we watched the video in a class I was utterly fascinated by this hidden message and was never able to listen to the song the same way. It’s like I had an epiphany and tried to discover some national affair in every song; for instance, KT Tunstall’s “Big Black Horse and Cherry Tree” all of a sudden became George Washington’s biography. The theory in the video is said to be about the French Revolution; the rise and fall of the leaders throughout it like King Louis XVI and Napoleon Bonaparte.

Even the albums cover art does a good job at feeding into the claim. At first glance it is an ongoing scene of a revolutionary war, but at a longer glance it reveals that the individuals are not soldiers, but common citizens and in the middle of the masses waves the French flag. This might show how the French Revolution began within the lands and people who overthrew their king in an attempt to take their country back. For critics, it would be easy for them to write this off as a simple homage to the British bands origins. To further sell the theory, one must read the lyrics verse by verse wearing through a historian's lens.

I see the song as through dead King Louis’ perspective reflecting on his life. The first verse is the King recalling that he once had it all, “I use to rule the world/ Seas would rise when I gave the word.” The next verse holds a lot of direct symbolism, “Listened as the crowd would sing/ Now the old king is dead long live the king,” foreshadowing his death and how the people rejoiced.

The last four lines of the second verse describe how after King Louis abdicated the throne, the people were so fed up they ambushed the Bastille which was a symbol of the fallen monarchy, “One minute I held the key/ Next the walls were closed on me/ And I discovered my castles stand/ Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand.” Then the chorus chimes in and alludes to how King Louis used religion to abuse his power and justify his rules,“ I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing/ Roman cavalry choirs are singing/ Be my mirror, my sword and shield/ …Never an honest word/ And that was when I ruled the world.”

King Louis and his wife Marie Antoinette are famously beheaded after they are tried and found guilty of treason. “Shattered windows and the sound of drums/…Revolutionaries wait/ For my head on a silver plate,” holds so much meaning. The King and Queen were both beheaded by a guillotine; a blade chops off the victim’s head, which usually falls into a basket of some sort, but the song uses silver plate pointing out royalty. If you have seen literally any Pirates of the Caribbean movies they know that leading up to a public execution someone, somewhere is playing a drumroll until the moment of death.

On the last two chorus’, there is a different line that says, “I know St. Peter won’t call my name,” which given my thirteen years of Catholic school education, the Saints are like the abc’s. The apostle turned Saint Peter is supposedly the person who is waiting to open the gates of heaven when or if you arrive. This line may show the King’s remorse or recognition to all of his downfalls which will likely lead to a scorching afterlife.


"Fact or theory? The world may never knowww"- said in Chris Martin's voice trying to put you in a trance. Honestly, wouldn't be mad at it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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