I’m sitting in a small hometown coffee shop. I’m sipping my big mug of coffee and caught myself taking my eyes off my busy laptop and looking around. I notice the lady who is taking over and the teenager who is making endless espresso drinks. There are colleagues talking business, friends catching up and endless couples sharing words over the small tables. I take another sip of my coffee and realize something. Every relationship I ever have been in, or maybe will ever be in, is pretty much just like my cup of coffee.

You can have it hot or cold, loving and warm or distant and cool. One minute you can be enjoying a perfectly warm cup, and then all of the sudden it can spill all down your shirt and burn you when you least expect it. You can add sugar and milk to make it sweet and easy to swallow or take it black, dark and bitter. Sometimes, you might like it bitter. You choose to not sweeten it just because you like the taste. Sometimes you know it could taste better with whip cream on top but you’re in a hurry and just need some caffeine in your system.

Caffeine is addictive, too. It is easy to fall into a rut of needing it to get through the day. Some people have no desire to drink coffee; they hate the taste or it makes them jittery. Some need five cups to get through the work day. Those who get addicted don’t care what quality their coffee is. They will settle for a crappy coffee from the gas station, while some will only drink French pressed. Some people only will drink the sugary, blended coffee beverages. It is a preference what each person will settle for when it comes to their coffees.

But sometimes, you find the perfect shop with the best coffee you’ve ever tasted. You end up going there before work every single day. Getting to know the baristas, memorizing the menu and picking your favorite table. Maybe that shop stays open forever. But maybe it suddenly closes one day. You get out of your car and look at the sign and it says the building is for lease. You’re sad and confused. You spend a while trying different coffee shops in your town, trying to find a new favorite. Some coffee tastes pretty good, some shops have a nice staff but none of them have all of the things you are looking for. But eventually, you find a coffee shop you like even better than the old one. And at least for a little while, all seems right in the world.

We settle for the coffee we think we deserve, just like the love we think we deserve. It can be warm or cold, sweet or bitter, cheap or premium. Sometimes you know the minute the warm drink touches your lips, it is the coffee you want to drink every day.