Ever since I moved to Buffalo, I have been surviving off of three things; coffee, water and my friends. Sure the water is important in the desert heat surrounding the campus, but the coffee and my friends keep me sane. It allows me to reconnect with the life I left back in New York City.
I always loved playing bingo on Saturday nights with my dad, my sisters, and my grandma. What a life. Now the only time I might be able to play bingo is if I found a local senior center that was willing to make an exception.
We used to play bingo for money so I guess that’s the one thing that really changed the way we played the game. When money is involved we would get as competitive as ever, sure it was only for nickels, dimes, and quarters, but it was still nice to win most of it.
Coffee was one of the few ways I could stay connected to a life I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go back to all the time. However, this begs the question of whether co-dependence means we are recovering from something or looking to keep in contact with a part of our lives?
People have rituals that distract them, but do the distractions push us into denial, or do they keep us in denial for too long? Can codependence mean we are looking for a way to forget the problems we have to face in reality?
The obvious answer would be yes.
A huge example of this would be the way people invest themselves to an online life rather than have to face the challenges in their real one. Such games as The Sims or Second Life, or even an online dating profile have the atmosphere and charm that real world interactions don’t.
People can have the successful lives and real life fantasies that they feel they may never have. Some years ago, I had a friend who loved the show FRIENDS. So much so that he tried to base his real life friendships/relationships off of those in the show. I couldn’t believe this but it was something that cost me a friendship.
Maybe leaning on something or someone is a great way of dealing with stress; of course, there are some people that get codependent on food. Why deal with people when a slice of pizza is nice and warm, and doesn’t talk back when you finish eating it. Perhaps that’s why we seek something else because the feelings we get talking to people. We may feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders but then you go talk with a friend and realize that your problems may seem insignificant.
Rituals that make you feel at one with something that you used to love as a child, like a big morning breakfast, reading the Sunday Comics, or just watching some old show can be a means of feeling okay. And that’s something that no one is giving up so easily.
