I'm codependent

I've always known this

But it's hard to admit

I miss my friends

So I cling to any relationship that comes close to me

And I feel like I failed when it falls apart

This is all so much more complicated than I'd like to believe

I make it seem so easy

But they never stick around

It's me

It must be me

It wouldn't happen this often

If the problem wasn't me

Am I too forward?

Should I tone it down?

How is that going to make it any easier?

I feel so much pressure to do this all myself

To assert whatever energy I think I have

To make it easy for them

Tell me I'm too much

Tell me to back off

Just don't leave me guessing

I'm going to leave all this behind

And I'm not even dreading it

Not really

Not too much

Because the hope already fell out of my pocket

There's no use looking for it

I'm sure someone picked it up

Some couple on the bench

Who has it all figured out

Who doesn't understand how they got this lucky

What am I going to focus my energy on?

Am I going to be critical

Even though I've silently vowed to let it go?

Is it going to be as easy as they're making it seem?

Or

Is this another show?

Add it to the list

Of performances they think they've nailed

Bowing in their bedrooms

As they take their shoes off

Scroll though the pictures

Where your fake smile stretched so wide

That it hurt your face

Zoom in

And make sure there are no visible imperfections

You can't have anyone thinking that you're human

Keep the makeup on as you sleep

So you always look perfect

No matter how you feel