Pardon my judgment and bitter sense of humor, but if you consistently order vodka crans when you go out, I probably don't want to be your Friday night wing-woman. And if that take offends you, I bet you won't open this to read what other basic cocktails exist out there. In my mind, there are four solid bar cocktails to order at campus bars. (Mojitos might be asking be asking a lot of the Bullwinkles staff...but then again I've never tried ordering one there) Which one are you?
Rum & Coke
You're a classic! Like a glass bottle of Coca Cola, this drink is timeless, never asking too much of the person making it, and gets the job done no matter what your pallet. The expectations are low, the quality is good, and you can buy it anywhere.
Captain & Coke
Either you're one picky dude or you've had a bad day and rum and coke just isn't enough, you need the extra sweetness that comes with Captain Morgan. You probably also have never drank your coffee black before.
Whiskey Ginger
Do you take yours with a lime or a maraschino cherry? This isn't your first time around the bar, and I know that because you ordered the cocktail that most clearly matches my father's palate. Even if you just started ordering them, I doubt this was your first mixed drink, which means you're open to change. So thanks for playing the adulthood game!
Vodka Cran
Let's expand our horizons here, Vodka Cran. Unless you're a freshman, it's time to open your mind and mix it up. This is embarrassing. I know it's trusty and you can never go wrong with it, but every now and then let's mix it up. Yes, even at Midway.
The minimum wage is not a living wage.
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