Life is such a precious and, at times, unforgiving thing. One minute it's there and the next it's gone like it never happened, leaving so much in its wake.

For anyone who knows me, you know that I am generally a very optimistic and happy person and like to spread those feelings to other people. Today, I found myself down, and just not feeling myself at all. At the time when I woke up, I just equated it to the fact that I got so little sleep last night and was just stressed about the two tests that I had today. As the day went on things just continued to feel dull and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I just felt so lost and in a funk, and all I wanted to do was come home, get in bed and stay there for the rest of the day.

Then, suddenly it all hit me at once, like a ton of bricks, today April 16, 2019 marks 4 years since the passing of one of my coaches.

That man was so special to everyone he met, and it showed. He gave me a chance when no one else would and taught me lessons that I will never forget. His laugh was something you could never mistake, and his smile was absolutely contagious.

Sadly, I didn't realize how much he really did mean to me until it was too late, and I couldn't tell him. Today as I sat here, in a low moment, I was just in awe of what one person can do for you and your life.

Fidgi, just know that I love you dearly. I am so thankful for you and everything that you did for me in the time that I knew you. I wouldn't be the player or even the person that I am today if it weren't for you.

Things are so different without you here — I haven't even been back to those fields since then. If I'm being honest, I'm scared that if I do, it will just hurt too much. I don't really talk much about those days or you even sometimes because I just miss you so much. I don't think anyone really knew how much you meant to me. I am so proud to be able to say that I played for you even if it was only for a few years, it is something that I will always remember and cherish. With all of that, I thank you for being you and teaching me to be myself and trust in my abilities. Until we meet again, love you always.