My name is Ella and I am a senior dance major at Troy University in Troy, AL. For the first time in my college career, I am going through a dry spell as far as success is concerned. My pieces aren't getting picked, I am not getting casted and I sometimes feel ignored by my faculty and peers. This has made me furious with God.
"It's my senior year and I'm not even preparing to perform. How could You do this to me? I feel so small and I'm supposed to be on top of the world."
Two days ago, I visited my doctor about a persisting pain I've had for three years in my right foot. They did a scan, and come to find out, I have a tear in a large tendon on the bottom of my foot. I wasn't expecting to even have a serious injury because I had been dancing in pain for so long that it felt completely normal. I'll be in a boot for a month at least and have scheduled an MRI for further opinion on the injury and what steps to take moving forward.
"Out for a month" was not the treatment plan I had anticipated, even after two years of failed physical therapy.
But, my sweet Lord knew that this would be the outcome.
God knew that I would need rest. He was already there in my moments of greatest pain and weakness. He could see my need for space and time to heal.
I'm certainly not saying that the only reason I wasn't getting "picked" was because God intervened because of my injury. I certainly lack in areas I could improve upon and am always striving for growth.
But I do believe wholeheartedly that this timing is a blessing I never could have seen from the bounds and restrictions of living in the present time.
The word "trust" is not one in my frequented vocabulary. "Trusting" God has always seemed a vague statement to me, especially within the church. I think perhaps we overcomplicate something that was meant to be quite simple.
Trusting God indicates a base understanding that our Father in His infinite wisdom seeks to grow, nurture and strengthen us with his plan for our lives.
It is also the peaceful knowledge that He gives us grace and mercy overflowing, especially when we least expect or deserve it.
The greatest proof I have of the existence of God are moments when I or someone I know didn't get what we wanted. (I find this to be especially true for many young adults.) It's wanting to go out but resisting because of COVD and hearing about a shooting at the local bar that night. It's wanting to date someone long-term and realizing they are a toxic narcissist. It's wanting to leave wherever you're at and watching a car accident on the news at your desired destination.
Lean into that still, small voice that says: "I am Protector. I am Friend. Let me help you."
His greatest desire is to draw us nearer to Him, if we will let Him.
Blessings to all.
