In the wake of numerous clown sightings recently, people are a little spooked. What's not to be afraid of, you have all of these mischievous, grinning circus freaks momentarily illuminated by street lamps and headlights only to fade away into the night; the only traces left are blurry iPhone pictures warning us of what may be lingering around any corner. The question remains, do we have reason to be afraid or is this just simple October clowning around?
A lot of the reported violence has been fear-driven person-on-clown violence. This possibly suggests that the clowning around is just a prank that went wrong and these clowns are underestimating the motivation behind our fears.
On the other hand, we hear stories of clowns luring children into the woods with candy... as if parents needed another reason to disband trick-or-treating. So it seems we have reason to be wary of this suspicious clown activity what with the unpredictable nature of each encounter. So what needs to be done? More clown bashing? Educate children on the genuine evil of clowns? Hire Juggalos to put an end to clown crime and clear their name?
Before we make this decision, I think what we need to do is to take a moment to cherish all of the clowns we admire and respect.
1. Fizbo
"Modern Family" used Cam's alter-ego "Fizbo" to teach us that clowns are legit and demand to be taken seriously. To the shame of Cam's partner, this silly, klutzy goofball uses self-harm as a way to inspire the sadistic joy children feel when they see another in pain. But as clowning around is an important part of Cam's life, Mitchell must accept it for it balances out the serious and the wacky as they raise their daughter.
2. Steve-O
Though it may not be well known, favorite jackass Steve-O was a real-life clown. He graduated from Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College in 1997 where he developed his risky form of entertainment not unlike Fizbo's self-harm routines. Fans of Steve-O will be excited to hear that he will be coming to Eau Claire's State Theatre on October 22nd where he will be performing his unique brand of improvisational comedy. Let's just hope that all the local clowns won't be in attendance...
3. Krusty The Clown
"The Simpson's" Krusty the Clown is known for his wheezy, burnt-out stage performances that Bart is particularly drawn to. His passion for making people laugh somehow seems to override his intense disposition towards failure which makes him a loveable underdog of the fictional entertainment industry of "The Simpsons".
4. Ronald McDonald
Okay so honestly this dude is more detrimental to the health of children than every single clown weirdo out there put together. That being said, old Ron has a tender spot inside all of our hearts (and stomachs) through his delicious, gourmet cuisine we would beg for day after day as a child. Let's be honest, is a kid who has never had a McDonalds kids meal even really a kid? Think about it.
Let's think about these clowns before we judge the ones we see by their makeup. Practice safe clown identification. If the clown has a butcher's knife, not a safe clown. If the clown has balloons, safe clown, unless it's night time. If the clown offers you candy, not a safe clown. If the clown is folding balloon animals at child's birthday party, safe clown. If you are planning on being a clown for Halloween this year, you may want to pick one of these beloved characters to avoid any possible confusion...clown-bashing is at a record high this year.
