Closure, we all want it, don't we? That one moment when we tell the person we used to care so much about goodbye. If I had a penny for every time I thought about me and a boy saying "goodbye" or "we can't see each other anymore" at his car while he begs for me to take him back as I walk away in slow motion, I'd be rich.
Because that's what we do, we fantasize. We want that scene out of a romantic comedy, but almost 100% of the time that does not happen.
Now don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of romantic moments. We all have had those memories we gush over with our girlfriends, memories that make us feel alive whenever we play them back in our head. And we attempt to create these memories time and time again so we can have those "movie moments."
But there's one important thing that I always forget: while these movie scenes we desire are at the end of a film, real life still goes on. In real life, there will be consequences to your actions, even though Jake Ryan and Samantha Baker didn't have any. You will still have hope that things will change. You probably will still be heartbroken.
I'm not trying to say that movie moments can't happen and lead to a happy, healthy relationship. Most times those healthy relationships are filled with these types of displays. But for the person that hopes their ex or someone that doesn't treat him/her with respect will crawl back to them in a magical way- you're playing with fire.
That's why I say forget closure, it doesn't exist. You aren't going to get a movie ending to your relationship, so stop trying to create one. Stop making excuses — saying that you want to see him "one last time to get closure" when really, you just want to see his face and be told, "I still love you."
Stop it! Because the kind of closure you're thinking of isn't real. And you will almost always be disappointed.
Instead, take a step back and look at the relationship at a bird's eye view. Understand that it is over, it has been over, and it forever will be over. This person wasn't the one for you — and that's OK! Why waste time trying to find some bow of closure to a present that doesn't exist?
It's pretty simple: the more you engage with this person, the more you will think about he/she, and the more you will get hurt. You're only delaying the process of healing. Ghost him and move on.
