There are moments in our lives when we realize that we need to reflect on things that have happened. New Year's Eve is a great time to do that even though it’s a holiday where people spend it getting drunk, dressing up, and doing wild things with their friends. It’s a better time to reflect on the things that we’ve done the past year rather than choosing some random moment to it. It is a time when one door closes and others open.

The older I get the more I realize that New Year’s Eve isn’t just about getting drunk, finding someone to kiss at midnight and going to wild parties. It’s about spending it with the people you love that you don’t want to live the rest of your life without in that moment. It’s about starting it off with people who you want to end every year with after. It’s a time when you can reflect on all the things you’ve done in the past year, and you can realize where you want to go.

For me, this year was all about personal growth; it was about leaving multiple things behind in 2017 and moving forward onto greater things for 2018. I was taught so many lessons; I broke a few hearts, got my heart broken, and truly found who I want to be. This past year was the best, and worst year of my life, and I came out the other side of it as a better person. This past year taught me so many things, and they have all shaped me in one way or another. So this is to all the things that I am leaving behind in 2017, I need to move on and this letter is going to be my last time mentioning all the things I want to leave behind. This is my closing statement for the year.

To the feelings, the people, and myself that I’m leaving behind, thank you for the lessons learned.

This year I found my first love and learned that I can be loved, and I can love. I learned that I am not as broken as I thought I was. I’m going to leave him behind because it hurts too much to keep that weight around. I will keep the lesson I learned, I will keep the fact that I know what love is and I will move forward with it. I just don’t want to move forward with the pain and heartbreak that follows of it. Thank you, for showing me that I can open myself but that maybe it’s not my time yet to find a guy. It’s my time to find myself and I’m glad I am learning that now rather than later in life.

I came to the realization of something that I hope no one will ever have to go through. You can’t trust anyone but yourself, no matter how you feel about it you should never put all your eggs in one basket because you will be disappointed. Everyone lies, especially those closest to you. I was lied to, and disappointed by someone who was supposed to be my rock and was supposed to never let me down. He let me down in so many ways and I thank God that I came out on the other side.

I learned the worst kind of heartbreak doesn’t come from a boy or a friend. It comes from seeing your father’s true colors and realizing that he isn’t a man you can look up to, someone that isn’t worth your time, or tears. I am leaving him behind in 2017. All the pain he brought me, all the late night where I cried myself to sleep because I saw that my dad wasn’t someone I could count on. During this time I’m walking away from something so toxic and I’m taking lessons learned with me.

Because of this happening, I now know who I want to surround myself with in my life, and I know the kind of guy that I will want someday when that day comes. Thank you, and goodbye.

There is a time and a place for everything, and right now it’s time for me to leave all these things behind and move forward. This past year so much has happened to me, and I have learned so much more about myself than I ever thought I would. I know what I want to do with my life, and who I want to become.

I learned that it really does matter how you feel about yourself and that you shouldn’t care what other people think. I was able to see so many different things and notice so many aspects of my life that I know from this point forward I will be a better person. So to all the things that I’m leaving behind in 2017 thank you for helping me grow, thank you for opening my eyes and thank you for teaching me lessons. Thanks for showing me love, and showing me what I need to do to get where I want to be. Thank you for putting those people in my life that will help me get there, and thank you for removing those who no longer need to be apart of it.

Cheers to 2017 for being the worst and best year of my life so far. Here is to 2018, I hope you are full of more growth, and that I only go forward from this point on.