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Politics and Activism

From a Closet Introvert

Heart of an extrovert and personality of a introvert muddied together in envy, comparison, and doubt.

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From a Closet Introvert
Fasdeducation

I'm an ISFJ. I don't know if that'll mean much to you unless you've taken a Myer Briggs Personality Test. In other terms I'm more of a "standing in the corner" then "dancing in the middle" type of person. This has me really conflicted, also kind of offended. I want to be an extrovert, the life of the party dancing in the middle of the room with no care. The type of person who talks to strangers in line at Starbucks and become instant BFFs, the person people are drawn to. But instead this test has told me what I've always thought, I'm a standing in the corner type of person...

Even worse in my mind according to my scores I am 71% introvert. 71?! But I'm a camp counselor, I've led Bible Study, I'm a teacher, I love people, I want to be dancing in the middle of the room, so I can't be an introvert. But there it is on paper, labeling me an introvert. And you know what this does to me? I begin to limit my expectations. I begin to live according to the label, I question what I do and if it fits "who I am" or who I'm "suppose to be". I begin to shape myself into a mold given to me...given to me by some online test.

It's silly isn't it? To let a personality test tell me who I am and think that defines me. Much less to allow that definition to identify me. To start myself living in those limitations I created. Then I begin to find myself envying the dancing in the middle of the room people. I start to compare what my life is to theres and the Devil whispers, "You'll never dance in the middle of the room, you weren't made for that, you'll never shine like she does." She has a prettier life. She is everything I want be; she does all the things I want to do. But God wrote her life for her, and He wrote mine specifically for me.

HER SUCCESS IS NOT YOUR FAILURE

Do you hear that? Cause sometimes I still don't. Scripture screams a little louder so listen up,

"The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out" -Proverbs 20:5

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us," -Ephesians 3:20-21

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" -Romans 8:28

"But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand." -Isaiah 64:8

Those verses weren't just written for her and her pretty life. Those verses were written with you in mind, with your heart in His hands, molding your soul to fit His perfectly. Your life is just as pretty, just as beautiful, just as PURPOSEFUL. God has these wonderfully woven intricate plans for you, more than you could even think would begin to satisfy you, make you happy, or give you purpose.

Don't fret over not seeing your purpose yet, He is not finished with you, God is forever sculpting and molding us to His image. Not some personalities test's image of us. Not the identifies of this world or the labels it places upon us. My identity isn't in being an introvert, or my skin color, or my gender, or relationships, or anything else this world is trying to label me as because my identity is in Christ.

I was sculpted by the Creator and He's molding me to succeed in the life written for me. In His eyes I'm the type of person dancing in the middle of the room. Heck, I'm the only one in the room. I'm the daughter of the King and the love of His heart. He died for me, how could I not think He'd mold me intricately into this beautiful life He planned just for me, just for YOU.

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