Have you ever, and I mean EVER, heard a song that just kept itself all snuggled up in your ear and after you hear it the first time, you hear it every second of the day? Like it'll just start playing in your head and you hum the words and then when you least expect it, you listen to the song again and then feel that you can identitfy with it in some aspect of your life? Well that's what "Closer" by The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey does to me, and more so now that they finally released a proper music video for the song.

I first heard "Closer" back this past summer and it just caught on quick to me. After listening to it for the first few times, I truly believed it was the official song of the summer, but little did I realize how much I could identify parts of my love life with that song. Okay, if you haven'y realized the meaning of "Closer", allow me to break it down for you via songmeanings.com, according to member annehrt, the song is about "hooking up with your ex. It was written as a feel-good rather than full of regrets like most hook-up-with-your-ex songs are". This is indeed true; this song is about an ex (although I'm sure it wasn't confirmed by Andrew Taggart himself?) and I can truly identify with that.

I won't lie, I do miss my ex boyfriend in a way. I think that I miss more of the aspect of that we met in Disney, we met as neighbors, we were under "pixie dust" and we were living in a bubble. The song literally kicks me back in time to 4 years ago when we met, when I first opened my front door and saw him. I remember everything about that night. Fast forward to now; November 2016, single for 3 years but now I'm talking to a wonderful guy named Ryan who seems to be a lot like myself in a lot of ways. We both have pretty much the same values and same personal morals. We both know what we want in a partner and we know that we don't want on going bulls*it. Was my ex able to afford everything that I wanted him to give me? nope. not the least bit, but I was happy back then.

Was I doing just fine before I met my ex? Yes and no. I had gotten out of an almost two year relationship with someone that neglected me and treated me like crap and I was single for 2 months. Content? sure, we can say that but what I did know, was that I missed being with someone and missed having my person. I drank too much but that wasn't much of an issue at the time, plus everyone partied (have you picked up what I did with the first two lines of the song yet?).

In my mind, the song for me, flips back to the past and forward to what I'm dealing with now. I flip back to when I was truly happy with someone who I thought was Prince Charming, who would save me from my tower and now I think to myself how I was wrong and now I'm talking to someone who can understand me and my workings. Now, I'm not saying this guy I'm talking to is Mr. Prince Charming, because to be honest, I don't even know myself. It would work out, it could not. But at the end of the day, what I do know is that if you were to place me in front of my ex, we would most likely pick up where we left off. Sure the rest of the lyrics can have some sexual meaning to them, take your pick, but for me, the song is just about missing someone and kicking yourself for losing them and wishing you had them back. I get it, I do. But now when I hear "Closer", all I can think about is having someone snake their arms around my waste from behind and my imagination goes off from there.

"So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your rover
that I know you can't afford, bite that tattoo on your shoulder.
Pull the sheets right off the corner of the mattress that you stole
from your roommate back in Boulder, we ain't ever getting older".