Why I Prefer to Be a Closed Book Rather Than an Open One | The Odyssey Online
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Why I Prefer to Be a Closed Book Rather Than an Open One

The Tokens of Trust

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Why I Prefer to Be a Closed Book Rather Than an Open One
The Atlantic

Have you ever played the game two truths and a lie? Isn't it fun? I think so. I like to come up with quirky things about myself that people don't know. I find it interesting what you don't know about people. To me, it doesn't seem half as much fun when people know everything about you. It takes away the element of surprise! I came from a place where everyone knew me, to a place where no one knew me. Recently, I have gotten to decide how much to share about myself - and it is definitely a different lifestyle. I believe that interesting information about yourself should be worked into conversation, not just laid on a platter when you first meet someone. For example, when I got to college, I didn't share that I lived on a farm. There was no reason to share it, so I didn't! When one of my new friends found out, he said, "Wow, I would not have pegged you for a farm girl." Sure, I may not wear the signature boots or listen to country music, but it was interesting that it did not fit my "character," or the judgment of my exterior. In theater, they teach you that each person has a set of roles they can play. As I am not a theater major, the boy who told me this also explained that he fit the roles of characters like the villain, the boy next door, or a warrior. I liked that there was more to me than met the eye, and that's when I saw the bright side of being a closed book.

The strongest argument in favor of being an "open book" is because these people believe they have nothing to hide. Everyone knows their game and what they are about. It's all on the table. At the same time, nothing is private! There are no secrets, supposedly. To me, this seems too simple of a life story. When I ask you to tell me something I don't know about you, I want something with substance. Not a shrug of the shoulders because everyone knows everything about you.

I prefer being a "closed book", if you will. The things I share are tokens of my trust, but I do not hide things about myself. The more we talk, the closer we will get, and therefore, the more you will know about me. Trust should be built and earned, not handed out. Plus, people that are more of a closed book are great at keeping secrets. If we can keep to ourselves about our own lives, then we can sure keep quiet about yours. We don't feel the same urge to share all of our information and understand that over-sharing can bite you in the butt, especially when it involves other people. I respect what people decide to share; it is their life. I like to think of secrets as a metaphor to currency. We each exchange "tokens of trust" throughout our days - collecting and giving. Everyone has a different story, you just have to take the time to listen.

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