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Clinton, Tennessee is Home Sweet Home to Me

(And to you, and to you, and to you)

Aug 31, 2016

Clinton, Tennessee is Home Sweet Home to Me

This has nothing to do with Hillary Clinton. It does, however, have everything to do with one of the best towns in the South.

Here are 17 things you're familiar with if you've ever lived in Clinton, Tennessee.

1. You’ve been antique shopping.

2. You almost broke the ornament that has been passed down from generation to generation (that was probably bought at an antique store) when decorating the Christmas tree.

3. You’ve probably been asked to model for a local boutique. #ShopLocal

4. You’re proud to know that Clinton High School was the first in the nation to desegregate. https://www.tnvacation.com/vendors/the-clinton-twe...

5. You probably had “Mr. Alfred” as a janitor in elementary school (the only reason you remember him is because he gave you tons of candy on Fridays after school, not to mention—he was one of the Clinton 12).

6. Growing up, you discovered the Norris Dam, so from then on you tried to use the word “dam” in every sentence and justify your usage of that word by explaining, “No! Norris Dam!”

7. You secretly wish Hoskins Drugstore was a franchise, because you go to college hundreds of miles away, and all you really want in life is one of their milkshakes.

8. Whenever you hear the word “fair,” the man missing all of his teeth with dip rushing out of his mouth pops into mind, or you think of the best six days of summer. It’s probably the latter.

9. You were a poor high school student because you spent 75% of your paycheck on gas to make it to Knoxvegas. “Ugh, there’s nothing to do here!”

10. Until the Snowball Shack opened up.

11. Clinch River Classic is where you discover how knowledgeable your dads are about softball, even though you all live in a football town.

12. Paula Dean may have her own cooking show, but she obviously hasn’t visited the Valley Quick Pac. Have you seen their biscuits!?

13. There are only two types of people in this world: Dragons or Mavericks.

14. And by God, you best know the difference between the two.

15. If you’re a Southern Baptist, you probably Hammer’s.

16. Perkadeli’s is a low scale Panera with high quality food, and probably one of my favorite places to eat in town.

17. Dutch Valley is not home to the Dutch. It’s home to some of the most kind-hearted people this side of the Mississippi— who may or may not own a farm. Who knows, maybe they'll even allow you to ride their horse(s).

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Clinton, Tennessee is Home Sweet Home to Me

(And to you, and to you, and to you)

1. You’ve been antique shopping.

2. You almost broke the ornament that has been passed down from generation to generation (that was probably bought at an antique store) when decorating the Christmas tree.

3. You’ve probably been asked to model for a local boutique. #ShopLocal

4. You’re proud to know that Clinton High School was the first in the nation to desegregate. https://www.tnvacation.com/vendors/the-clinton-twe...

5. You probably had “Mr. Alfred” as a janitor in elementary school (the only reason you remember him is because he gave you tons of candy on Fridays after school, not to mention—he was one of the Clinton 12).

6. Growing up, you discovered the Norris Dam, so from then on you tried to use the word “dam” in every sentence and justify your usage of that word by explaining, “No! Norris Dam!”

7. You secretly wish Hoskins Drugstore was a franchise, because you go to college hundreds of miles away, and all you really want in life is one of their milkshakes.

8. Whenever you hear the word “fair,” the man missing all of his teeth with dip rushing out of his mouth pops into mind, or you think of the best six days of summer. It’s probably the latter.

9. You were a poor high school student because you spent 75% of your paycheck on gas to make it to Knoxvegas. “Ugh, there’s nothing to do here!”

10. Until the Snowball Shack opened up.

11. Clinch River Classic is where you discover how knowledgeable your dads are about softball, even though you all live in a football town.

12. Paula Dean may have her own cooking show, but she obviously hasn’t visited the Valley Quick Pac. Have you seen their biscuits!?

13. There are only two types of people in this world: Dragons or Mavericks.

14. And by God, you best know the difference between the two.

15. If you’re a Southern Baptist, you probably Hammer’s.

16. Perkadeli’s is a low scale Panera with high quality food, and probably one of my favorite places to eat in town.

17. Dutch Valley is not home to the Dutch. It’s home to some of the most kind-hearted people this side of the Mississippi— who may or may not own a farm. Who knows, maybe they'll even allow you to ride their horse(s).

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"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

We all have that "I don't care" attitude.

1. Most students just take life day by day.

2. That means procrastinating, one day at a time.

3. College students don't mind dressing like crap sometimes.

4. In fact, dressing nice feels weird.

5. College students get so stressed that they contemplate dropping on a daily basis.

6. But most find another solution to deal with that stress.

7. And that solution can be pretty cheap. Anything over $5 is expensive.

8. One of the only things college students will spend money on is coffee.

9. College is just really expensive and you never forget how expensive it is.

10. But hey, we're getting a somewhat high-quality education, right?

11. We all really just want to pet dogs all day.

12. And eat pizza for every meal.

13. And stab the next person who asks us what we want to do with our life.

14. However, despite the stress and student loans, college is amazing and there's plenty of reasons to smile.

Thank you, April, for inspiring us with your wicked relatability.

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